Today I took some time to read old messages and received one from a reader and slave-to-be who spoke of how he has yet been unable to give in to the fear that keeps him from fully serving. In my short response I simply said that fear is the basis of the D/s dynamic and certainly the D/s relationship. After sending my note I thought of how true that statement is.
Fear works on both sides. There is perhaps nothing sweeter than a slave cowering in fear after a beating has begun; unrestrained, able to get away if the spirit so moved him, but still standing, kneeling, or laying in submission and divine acceptance of his fate. This is incredible arousing to a Mistress like me, but also, on a deeper level, more satisfying than anything sexual could ever be. Why? Because we can appreciate what it takes to accept punishment and fall into fear in such a submissive way.
But fear is not only punishment-based. Part of what drives a submissive, and certainly a slave, is having a dominant person take responsibility for them on whatever level. As the level of responsibility increases as does the submission and too, the fear. The fear, therefore, is increasingly prevalent and increasingly endured, accepted, desired, and enjoyed. That fear serves to keep the slave in place in more ways that one in that way.
For the Domme, the fear is there too, though perhaps more subtle in nature. The D/s dynamic is symbiotic, after all, with each side giving and taking in essentially equal measure. One side of the Domme’s fear is perhaps more understandable to the “vanilla” crowd, and that is simply the basic fear of an ended relationship, though in the D/s dynamic it is a much more hearty emotion, considering the relationship is deeper and involves more, in my extremely biased opinion, than a long-term “vanilla” relationship. As the relationship endures, more is expected of the slave and the Domme has more to lose should the slave ever leave. Of course, this is unlikely, as it should be harder and harder for the slave to leave as its enslavement develops. Yet, the fear is somewhere there, buried down deep.
As such, fear is everywhere in the D/s relationship, slipping in and out of corners and into crevices. The fear is not a negative thing, however, and truly should be considered a wholesome and appreciated quality in the dynamic. The next time you feel fear, dear readers, embrace it, enjoy it, and welcome it. Get to know it, be satisfied in it, and let it grow….you will find that you will grow in the most delightful ways. Whatever you do, don’t turn away from it, as you will lose the essence of yourself and your life goal of full enslavement.
Religions are based on both fear and worship; you cannot worship without fear.
****Busier than I thought I would be, but it is a delicious sort of busy and I have enjoyed it…More later***
Showing posts with label basics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label basics. Show all posts
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
Slave Nutrition Basics: Recipe
As I was preparing my slave’s meal for the next few days (the poor thing ate only peanuts yesterday due to a particularly grueling day of service and the fact that I forgot to feed him) I figured I might as well post a recipe and picture of a good slave staple, in my opinion. Unfortunately, the camera on my phone is not a great one but I attempted to tweak it a bit. Inexplicably it appears that some of the beans in the pot are green to my eyes, but they’re not. The next time I will turn on a light instead of natural light.
This is a great lunch and dinner meal and it’s basic enough for the most budget-conscious Domme who believes in simplicity for her slave/s. I am a major lover of the slow-cooker, Crock Pot method of cooking, especially for slave diets. On a personal level, this style of cooking just makes me think of childhood and slower, simpler times, and it’s obviously a great time saver while being the antithesis, in many ways, of the microwave dinner ideal.
It should come as no surprise, then, that I own many different styles and brands of slow cookers. The one in this picture is great for a slave. I bought this last Black Friday for $3 on some sort of door-buster deal. They had a million of them and I should have bought more as they’d make great gifts…I’m rambling. Anyway, the slow-cooker holds 2 quarts of food, which is eight cups. Depending on the slave’s diet, that can be eight or four servings – I think any more is overfeeding.
The recipe - if one can call it that - is:
¾ cup brown rice
1 cup great northern white beans
1 chicken bullion cube (no MSG) –optional-
enough water to cover
To make this, simply add the beans and about 3 cups of hot water to the pot and let cook for 3-4 hours on low. This kind of bean will say soak overnight on the package, but ignore that. After the beans have cooked that long add the bullion cube to a cup of hot or boiling water and let dissolve and add to the pot. Then add your rice and enough hot water to fill the cooker. Let it cook for another 3-4 hours and check tenderness. If the rice is still starchy put the heat up to high for another hour or so. You can also cook it for about half the time on high the whole way through, but check often after the rice has been added because the rice will absorb the water and more may need to be added.
Of course, you can add whatever seasonings or take out the bullion cube entirely to keep it bland. Conversely, this makes a good side dish for a Mistress with a few add-ins; like homemade chicken stock instead of bullion perhaps, and some Parmesan cheese sprinkled on top before serving, if you’d like.
The bullion cubes are $1 for 25, the rice $0.89/lb, and the beans are about $0.79/lb. For this meal that’s right around $0.80 and you get at most 8 servings: $0.10/serving, not bad at all.
It has the benefit of being pretty bland visually, as evidenced in the picture, which I believe is a good way to reinforce a slave’s position. For those slaves with a dog bowl and no utensils, this makes a great mush if cooked long enough, and could be blended for a nice gruel, if one was so inclined. The rice is about 170 calories per serving, the bullion is 5, and the beans are 150. If your slave is very active and this is to be one or two meals out of three, definitely go ahead and make two cups a serving, and this will be about 1300 calories out of their daily caloric count, or mix it up however you’d like.
Gird your loins.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Q: Punishments
This is the last question of "Q&As in April." I chose it because it felt like it was relevant enough to the sensibilities of BDSM that it could actually dispel a lot of misconception. I’ve discussed it here before (I think) but I wanted to give it a bit more attention.
Q: How should a slave be punished?
A: This is a question that every Domme and submissive has likely considered at some point. For pro-Dommes and paying subs, the answer is you can’t. The biggest actual punishment would probably be to make him a dom or make him enact whoever he is daily, which of course would be pointless and the submissive may not decide to spend his paycheck on your services the next time he wants to be used.
For the lifestyle Domme and slave, the question is an important one, and the answer is seen above; the biggest punishment for a slave is not to be allowed to serve. Now, obviously, on one hand whatever the slave does or has done is a matter of service because it is in service by the nature of it being punished in the first place. The slave knows it is owned and a Mistress should never play games about giving the slave away or disowning it, as it breeds the wrong kinds of emotions in the slave and creates a slave who cannot trust its owner and is therefore not trustworthy.
First, let me clarify what I mean by “punish” as it is an important distinction. I do not mean the basic use a slave gets, that may involve physical pain and torture. I mean “discipline” when I say punish, and by that I mean what you do when your slave has broken a rule, become insolent, or otherwise acted in a way that you find unacceptable. I find all other use, essentially of any sort, to be training, as it trains a slave how to maintain its slavishness, appreciate its service, and remember its position. These are not punishments. If you cane your slave every morning or whenever the spirit moves you, this is not punishment but training for the slave and service/use from the slave. This sort of use should not be considered negative, but rather a simply reality of their enslavement.
Every slave has a reason why it became a slave in the first place. It has that special interest that led it to its enslavement and that interest is known to its Mistress even if it never confides. And that is what is manipulated for the sake of punishment. Does your slave love to be tied up? Don’t do it. Instead, have it walk up and down the street for an hour. Does your slave love the bite of the whip? Take it away. Use the whip, perhaps hitting the floor or another hard surface, to make the delicious sound that it is used to hearing with the accompanying slap, while the slave is doing its chores. Dangle it in front of its face like a carrot while it is being punished, letting it know that the privilege of its whippings have been taken away. Keep your Goddess feet away from your little foot fetishist or the strap on away from your anal whore. Get good service in all other ways while ensuring your slave is kept docile and slavish without its favorite form of service.
There are those slaves who love being used, and love service of any sort. Put those in the corner of every room you are in to hear the noises of daily activities while not being able to take part in its regularly scheduled ways. This is also useful for houseboys, sometimes, and male wives, or domestics of any sort.
There are some basic rules to follow when punishing slaves of any sort. First, don’t humiliate them, call them names, or anything of the sort when they are being punished. Every slave likes humiliation. Instead, express your dissatisfaction in a frank and impersonal way and otherwise ignore them. Rough treatment will also likely be enjoyable, so instead of dragging them by their collar, have them walk deliberately from place to place. Be a corrections officer or warden instead of a drill sergeant. Demand the best in an unemotional tone, and let them know that you do not get anything out of punishing them; that their real use comes when you use them as you do normally, even with rough use.
Q: How should a slave be punished?
A: This is a question that every Domme and submissive has likely considered at some point. For pro-Dommes and paying subs, the answer is you can’t. The biggest actual punishment would probably be to make him a dom or make him enact whoever he is daily, which of course would be pointless and the submissive may not decide to spend his paycheck on your services the next time he wants to be used.
For the lifestyle Domme and slave, the question is an important one, and the answer is seen above; the biggest punishment for a slave is not to be allowed to serve. Now, obviously, on one hand whatever the slave does or has done is a matter of service because it is in service by the nature of it being punished in the first place. The slave knows it is owned and a Mistress should never play games about giving the slave away or disowning it, as it breeds the wrong kinds of emotions in the slave and creates a slave who cannot trust its owner and is therefore not trustworthy.
First, let me clarify what I mean by “punish” as it is an important distinction. I do not mean the basic use a slave gets, that may involve physical pain and torture. I mean “discipline” when I say punish, and by that I mean what you do when your slave has broken a rule, become insolent, or otherwise acted in a way that you find unacceptable. I find all other use, essentially of any sort, to be training, as it trains a slave how to maintain its slavishness, appreciate its service, and remember its position. These are not punishments. If you cane your slave every morning or whenever the spirit moves you, this is not punishment but training for the slave and service/use from the slave. This sort of use should not be considered negative, but rather a simply reality of their enslavement.
Every slave has a reason why it became a slave in the first place. It has that special interest that led it to its enslavement and that interest is known to its Mistress even if it never confides. And that is what is manipulated for the sake of punishment. Does your slave love to be tied up? Don’t do it. Instead, have it walk up and down the street for an hour. Does your slave love the bite of the whip? Take it away. Use the whip, perhaps hitting the floor or another hard surface, to make the delicious sound that it is used to hearing with the accompanying slap, while the slave is doing its chores. Dangle it in front of its face like a carrot while it is being punished, letting it know that the privilege of its whippings have been taken away. Keep your Goddess feet away from your little foot fetishist or the strap on away from your anal whore. Get good service in all other ways while ensuring your slave is kept docile and slavish without its favorite form of service.
There are those slaves who love being used, and love service of any sort. Put those in the corner of every room you are in to hear the noises of daily activities while not being able to take part in its regularly scheduled ways. This is also useful for houseboys, sometimes, and male wives, or domestics of any sort.
There are some basic rules to follow when punishing slaves of any sort. First, don’t humiliate them, call them names, or anything of the sort when they are being punished. Every slave likes humiliation. Instead, express your dissatisfaction in a frank and impersonal way and otherwise ignore them. Rough treatment will also likely be enjoyable, so instead of dragging them by their collar, have them walk deliberately from place to place. Be a corrections officer or warden instead of a drill sergeant. Demand the best in an unemotional tone, and let them know that you do not get anything out of punishing them; that their real use comes when you use them as you do normally, even with rough use.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
All about Emme P2
Here is another of the questions I am asked some variation of pretty often. People stubbornly believe that I hate men, inexplicably.
Q: Do you hate men?
A: I am always a bit shocked by this question, as I actually love men quite a bit. I understand how some have that perception based on the lifestyle itself, but I find in jarring when someone in the lifestyle asks me such a thing. Yet, I suppose believing female supremacy and/or actual enslavement of men, as opposed to simple domination are reasons why I may be mistaken for a man-hater. I assure you, in some ways, I like men more than women.
That said, I like men who exhibit what I believe to be the natural state of manhood, which is submission. What I don’t like is patriarchal societies or world views in which men are supposed to be the “heads of households” and women are the submissive figures. These sorts of views miss the point, in my opinion, which is that men want to submit to and care for women. Physical prowess has nothing to do with the mental capacity for submission, and in fact, it makes sense that the two would be natural sides of the same coin.
Look at the animal kingdom. Lions, considered the basis for human male theories on patriarchal societies really consist of the male lion, surrounded by females who hunt and gather. Male lions do not hunt unless they have to. Match that to the concept of the human male and the similarity is not in the gendered role but in the service; which of the sexes is known as the “hunter-gatherer”?
Of course, neither cooks the meals in the lion’s pride, and women, it is classically known, are the cooks and preparers of the human family. Food preparation is a signifier of submission for us, it seems. Now – quick - name five well-known chefs. How many were male and how many were female? Rachel Ray doesn’t count – she is not a chef. Julia Child is acceptable, however. Now, if you’re a television watcher, think of the last winners of any cooking shows you’ve seen or heard of. How many were women?
Even the “emotional” concept of women isn’t validated in research, as studies have shown that women choose men methodically and by virtue of traits that will make them good caregiver-providers, while men make highly emotional decisions when choosing a mate. What women do exhibit in terms of emotion, is a wider range of emotions that they can typify, express, and identify in others. This is commonly referred to as “emotional intelligence” and is a useful tool, believe me, when it comes to monitoring and training a slave.
In short, while I don’t hate men, it bothers me to see their talents wasted and to see them in positions that deep down they know they are not capable of or even desirous of. I believe the ethnocentric ideals of the white male were born out of inferiority-feelings, and they have only negative outcomes. The only solution is a form of extremism that matches the extremism of the patriarchal fallacy, and that is simple Female Supremacy. We shouldn’t have to remind men that we are superior, but we will until it is as deep-seated as the bullshit they profess to believe now.
The males I take into slavery and/or training are males who show potential and a desire to be their true selves. It is an honor to serve a woman, not a punishment, and as such, I would never take on a slave I hated. Each man that is broken into a beautifully submissive slave becomes a beacon for man in his truest sense; a man who uses his talents for the greater good and enjoys his service and is entirely confident in his “manhood” because he knows what the word means.
Q: Do you hate men?
A: I am always a bit shocked by this question, as I actually love men quite a bit. I understand how some have that perception based on the lifestyle itself, but I find in jarring when someone in the lifestyle asks me such a thing. Yet, I suppose believing female supremacy and/or actual enslavement of men, as opposed to simple domination are reasons why I may be mistaken for a man-hater. I assure you, in some ways, I like men more than women.
That said, I like men who exhibit what I believe to be the natural state of manhood, which is submission. What I don’t like is patriarchal societies or world views in which men are supposed to be the “heads of households” and women are the submissive figures. These sorts of views miss the point, in my opinion, which is that men want to submit to and care for women. Physical prowess has nothing to do with the mental capacity for submission, and in fact, it makes sense that the two would be natural sides of the same coin.
Look at the animal kingdom. Lions, considered the basis for human male theories on patriarchal societies really consist of the male lion, surrounded by females who hunt and gather. Male lions do not hunt unless they have to. Match that to the concept of the human male and the similarity is not in the gendered role but in the service; which of the sexes is known as the “hunter-gatherer”?
Of course, neither cooks the meals in the lion’s pride, and women, it is classically known, are the cooks and preparers of the human family. Food preparation is a signifier of submission for us, it seems. Now – quick - name five well-known chefs. How many were male and how many were female? Rachel Ray doesn’t count – she is not a chef. Julia Child is acceptable, however. Now, if you’re a television watcher, think of the last winners of any cooking shows you’ve seen or heard of. How many were women?
Even the “emotional” concept of women isn’t validated in research, as studies have shown that women choose men methodically and by virtue of traits that will make them good caregiver-providers, while men make highly emotional decisions when choosing a mate. What women do exhibit in terms of emotion, is a wider range of emotions that they can typify, express, and identify in others. This is commonly referred to as “emotional intelligence” and is a useful tool, believe me, when it comes to monitoring and training a slave.
In short, while I don’t hate men, it bothers me to see their talents wasted and to see them in positions that deep down they know they are not capable of or even desirous of. I believe the ethnocentric ideals of the white male were born out of inferiority-feelings, and they have only negative outcomes. The only solution is a form of extremism that matches the extremism of the patriarchal fallacy, and that is simple Female Supremacy. We shouldn’t have to remind men that we are superior, but we will until it is as deep-seated as the bullshit they profess to believe now.
The males I take into slavery and/or training are males who show potential and a desire to be their true selves. It is an honor to serve a woman, not a punishment, and as such, I would never take on a slave I hated. Each man that is broken into a beautifully submissive slave becomes a beacon for man in his truest sense; a man who uses his talents for the greater good and enjoys his service and is entirely confident in his “manhood” because he knows what the word means.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Slave Nutrition Basics Part II: Foods
I may add a sample weekly diet for a slave at some point, as this seems rather vague. I may add to it or edit it later, as well.
Once a vitamin regimen has been established, a slave's diet can be quite strict. I have found that dehydrated foods are a great option. They keep well (most are designed to last years for the "end of the world" survivalists), are relatively inexpensive, and have some nutritional value.
That said, pre-packaged dehydrated foods can be very high in sodium. For this reason, I suggest buying separate dehydrated ingredients in order to control sodium, flavor, and nutritional value. A vacuum-sealing canister device can ensure freshness and quality for home-mixed blends. I own my own food dehydrator and that can be a good investment too in order to buy things that are cheap or on sale, dehydrate them, and vacuum them.
You can purchase dehydrated meats as well as grains and vegetables, but, if a Mistress wants to keep costs lower, I promote vegetarian or vegan slaves. With proper nutritional support, this diet may be the best option for a slave, as it is simple, based on nutrition instead of taste, and would likely be very different that the food its owner enjoys, food that it may also be required to prepare.
Some fresh things can be added as a treat of for nutritional content and a breakfast of bran in warm months and oats in cold months is good. Fresh things that are approaching their expiration date and aren't great for a Goddess meal are perfect as a treat for slaves. Water and tea should really be all a slave needs to drink, especially if it eats a lot of pre-packaged dehydrated foods. That said, nothing is wrong with juice if the Mistress so desires.
Fiber is also a great addition to any healthy diet, be it slave or owner. While it certainly "cleans the pipes," it has the added benefit of helping the slave feel fuller longer, which is a good thing when their diets can sometimes be limited and sparse. Of course, fiber can be the sort that is mixed with a liquid or fiber from bran cereals and such. I suggest using both, but using “water soluble” fiber with less liquid than directed in order to create slurry (what would be at the bottom of the glass otherwise), which can be heaped atop whatever else the slave is eating.
Finally, “nutritional” or “meal replacement” shakes are a viable option, particularly if the slave works outside the home. I suggest buying generic options and the cheapest ones available, as well as sugar-free options, should your slave’s diet be totally restrictive. They are vitamin-enriched and high in calories, which should help the slave maintain the calorie count it needs for energy. In order to be aware of the calorie count your slave likely requires, do a quick web search for calorie intake calculator. After a cursory search I found this one, though I have not used it. Model whatever calculator you use off of the parameters found there, as things such as age and level of activity factor when calculating how many calories someone needs. Of course, you can always go by the FDA average of 2000, but it may be more or less than your slave needs, which could lead to weight gain or lethargy.
Once a vitamin regimen has been established, a slave's diet can be quite strict. I have found that dehydrated foods are a great option. They keep well (most are designed to last years for the "end of the world" survivalists), are relatively inexpensive, and have some nutritional value.
That said, pre-packaged dehydrated foods can be very high in sodium. For this reason, I suggest buying separate dehydrated ingredients in order to control sodium, flavor, and nutritional value. A vacuum-sealing canister device can ensure freshness and quality for home-mixed blends. I own my own food dehydrator and that can be a good investment too in order to buy things that are cheap or on sale, dehydrate them, and vacuum them.
You can purchase dehydrated meats as well as grains and vegetables, but, if a Mistress wants to keep costs lower, I promote vegetarian or vegan slaves. With proper nutritional support, this diet may be the best option for a slave, as it is simple, based on nutrition instead of taste, and would likely be very different that the food its owner enjoys, food that it may also be required to prepare.
Some fresh things can be added as a treat of for nutritional content and a breakfast of bran in warm months and oats in cold months is good. Fresh things that are approaching their expiration date and aren't great for a Goddess meal are perfect as a treat for slaves. Water and tea should really be all a slave needs to drink, especially if it eats a lot of pre-packaged dehydrated foods. That said, nothing is wrong with juice if the Mistress so desires.
Fiber is also a great addition to any healthy diet, be it slave or owner. While it certainly "cleans the pipes," it has the added benefit of helping the slave feel fuller longer, which is a good thing when their diets can sometimes be limited and sparse. Of course, fiber can be the sort that is mixed with a liquid or fiber from bran cereals and such. I suggest using both, but using “water soluble” fiber with less liquid than directed in order to create slurry (what would be at the bottom of the glass otherwise), which can be heaped atop whatever else the slave is eating.
Finally, “nutritional” or “meal replacement” shakes are a viable option, particularly if the slave works outside the home. I suggest buying generic options and the cheapest ones available, as well as sugar-free options, should your slave’s diet be totally restrictive. They are vitamin-enriched and high in calories, which should help the slave maintain the calorie count it needs for energy. In order to be aware of the calorie count your slave likely requires, do a quick web search for calorie intake calculator. After a cursory search I found this one, though I have not used it. Model whatever calculator you use off of the parameters found there, as things such as age and level of activity factor when calculating how many calories someone needs. Of course, you can always go by the FDA average of 2000, but it may be more or less than your slave needs, which could lead to weight gain or lethargy.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Slave Nutrition Basics Part I: Supplements
Q. What should an owned slave be allowed to eat?
This is an old question, asked by a former member of the yahoo group when it was still up and running. I have been asked variations of this question a lot, however, and I think the topic deserves its own post. I have a lot of information to share on the topic, so I decided to break it into parts and I will likely edit them along the way. I have to add the disclaimer that I am not a nutritionist, nor am I medical doctor. My advice is simply my opinion.
A. A slave's diet should be nutrition-based. Everything should start with a good supplement or mix of supplements that help provide the slave the nutritional support it needs, especially the essential vitamins and minerals that the body does not make. Of course, the slave’s Owner should be taking supplements as well for the same reasons (but more on that in another post, perhaps). The supplement regimen should be based on its service and lifestyle as well.
For example, a toilet slave needs a healthy mix of digestive aids and good bacteria while having good immune system support, as does a garbage disposal/trashcan slave. The nature of eating waste, no matter what form it takes, is such that the body will fight against it. Though digestive aids and bacterial supplements will only go so far, and perhaps illness every now and again is unavoidable, it just makes sense to give the body some help fighting infection and bacteria. Three mainstays (and thanks to the slave who asked in the group, as I am doing a cut and paste here, as I know I would butcher the spelling) include L. acidophilus, for the small intestine, B. bifidum for the large intestine, and L. bulgaricus for general health and promotion of healthy bacterial growth.
A toilet slave will receive things that its owner cannot absorb from their urine. This can mean "good" things such as vitamins and "bad" things such as antibiotics or medicines she may be using. While vitamins are good in theory, some have side effects and can be dangerous in large doses. The toilet slave's supplement regimen should be compared to its owners and adjusted accordingly. Urine with excess vitamins can look florescent green or yellow and the body releases the vitamins in urine a few hours after taking them. If urine is being consumed and a slave is on a supplement regimen, it may be best just to avoid consumption during those periods. Common sense should be used when it comes to medicines as well.
Any slaves who are kept locked away for long periods or are kept in the house at all times should be given good amounts of vitamin D, preferably with calcium. Generally, multivitamins are low in vitamin D because it is found naturally in sunlight. But vitamin D is otherwise very hard to get and the body does not make it, though it needs it.
For anyone taking a supplement regimen, please pay careful attention to what you are taking and how much. Know at the recommended daily values of whatever vitamins you take and don’t exceed that without speaking to a doctor. Be aware that you can overdose on vitamins and supplements and they can cause health problems if you do. Some supplements may interfere with medicines and/or have side effects.
For supplements, I highly recommend the Swanson brand and company. They have a very good site and mail-order catalog and often do "buy-one-get-one-free" promotions on a wide variety of supplements. I receive emailed promotions from them on a regular basis and buy in bulk when they are BOGO. For the penny-pinching Mistress, vitamins can be bought from local “dollar stores” (like the Dollar Tree) or you can generally get heavily discounted vitamins that are close to their expiration dates or have just expired from GNC, the Vitamin Shoppe, and sometimes grocery stores. Vitamins lose their value over time, not all at once, so they can still be used past the expiration date. Ask your vitamin store employee for a general guideline on how much one should take for equivalent nutritional value over time, and you’ll learn that you can use them for years beyond the listed dates.
This is an old question, asked by a former member of the yahoo group when it was still up and running. I have been asked variations of this question a lot, however, and I think the topic deserves its own post. I have a lot of information to share on the topic, so I decided to break it into parts and I will likely edit them along the way. I have to add the disclaimer that I am not a nutritionist, nor am I medical doctor. My advice is simply my opinion.
A. A slave's diet should be nutrition-based. Everything should start with a good supplement or mix of supplements that help provide the slave the nutritional support it needs, especially the essential vitamins and minerals that the body does not make. Of course, the slave’s Owner should be taking supplements as well for the same reasons (but more on that in another post, perhaps). The supplement regimen should be based on its service and lifestyle as well.
For example, a toilet slave needs a healthy mix of digestive aids and good bacteria while having good immune system support, as does a garbage disposal/trashcan slave. The nature of eating waste, no matter what form it takes, is such that the body will fight against it. Though digestive aids and bacterial supplements will only go so far, and perhaps illness every now and again is unavoidable, it just makes sense to give the body some help fighting infection and bacteria. Three mainstays (and thanks to the slave who asked in the group, as I am doing a cut and paste here, as I know I would butcher the spelling) include L. acidophilus, for the small intestine, B. bifidum for the large intestine, and L. bulgaricus for general health and promotion of healthy bacterial growth.
A toilet slave will receive things that its owner cannot absorb from their urine. This can mean "good" things such as vitamins and "bad" things such as antibiotics or medicines she may be using. While vitamins are good in theory, some have side effects and can be dangerous in large doses. The toilet slave's supplement regimen should be compared to its owners and adjusted accordingly. Urine with excess vitamins can look florescent green or yellow and the body releases the vitamins in urine a few hours after taking them. If urine is being consumed and a slave is on a supplement regimen, it may be best just to avoid consumption during those periods. Common sense should be used when it comes to medicines as well.
Any slaves who are kept locked away for long periods or are kept in the house at all times should be given good amounts of vitamin D, preferably with calcium. Generally, multivitamins are low in vitamin D because it is found naturally in sunlight. But vitamin D is otherwise very hard to get and the body does not make it, though it needs it.
For anyone taking a supplement regimen, please pay careful attention to what you are taking and how much. Know at the recommended daily values of whatever vitamins you take and don’t exceed that without speaking to a doctor. Be aware that you can overdose on vitamins and supplements and they can cause health problems if you do. Some supplements may interfere with medicines and/or have side effects.
For supplements, I highly recommend the Swanson brand and company. They have a very good site and mail-order catalog and often do "buy-one-get-one-free" promotions on a wide variety of supplements. I receive emailed promotions from them on a regular basis and buy in bulk when they are BOGO. For the penny-pinching Mistress, vitamins can be bought from local “dollar stores” (like the Dollar Tree) or you can generally get heavily discounted vitamins that are close to their expiration dates or have just expired from GNC, the Vitamin Shoppe, and sometimes grocery stores. Vitamins lose their value over time, not all at once, so they can still be used past the expiration date. Ask your vitamin store employee for a general guideline on how much one should take for equivalent nutritional value over time, and you’ll learn that you can use them for years beyond the listed dates.
April Flew By!
Ugh, it's happened again. I scheduled a post for Saturday at noon, but it didn't go through. I never understand why that happens. I will publish it today without scheduling but I wanted to chat about a few things now.
As I said a couple of weeks ago, I have been doing a lot lately. In May, I should be less busy, at least for a month or so, and I will be able to dedicate more time to the site (which is coming along nicely but has headed in a totally different direction somehow, and I have been trying to bring it back to my original vision) and all of the other ventures I spoke about.
I've been getting a good bit of response about the yahoo group, though I am still not accepting new members. I have been considering taking the group offline completely and bringing the group to my site, just to be able to keep things organized on my end and to be able to control more of the look of it. I've been playing around with some software for that purpose, but we'll see. For now, if you have interest in the group you may apply for membership. Though you can't be a member, you will have the option to be put on the mailing list for perspective members when I either reopen the group or open the comparable group on the site.
I have a concept for next month's blog posts that I think I will enjoy writing and over the next few days will add my last Q&As for April, as I haven't had time to type responses to this point but I want to get them in before the end of the month.
And that's it at the moment. I just bought two new sets of sounds, and after I give them a test drive I will likely do a review on them and pass along the seller information if they're any good, as I really liked the price.
As I said a couple of weeks ago, I have been doing a lot lately. In May, I should be less busy, at least for a month or so, and I will be able to dedicate more time to the site (which is coming along nicely but has headed in a totally different direction somehow, and I have been trying to bring it back to my original vision) and all of the other ventures I spoke about.
I've been getting a good bit of response about the yahoo group, though I am still not accepting new members. I have been considering taking the group offline completely and bringing the group to my site, just to be able to keep things organized on my end and to be able to control more of the look of it. I've been playing around with some software for that purpose, but we'll see. For now, if you have interest in the group you may apply for membership. Though you can't be a member, you will have the option to be put on the mailing list for perspective members when I either reopen the group or open the comparable group on the site.
I have a concept for next month's blog posts that I think I will enjoy writing and over the next few days will add my last Q&As for April, as I haven't had time to type responses to this point but I want to get them in before the end of the month.
And that's it at the moment. I just bought two new sets of sounds, and after I give them a test drive I will likely do a review on them and pass along the seller information if they're any good, as I really liked the price.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Chastity Woes
***I'm sure there are more typos than usual, but I am too tired to care.***
A few weeks ago I posted an entry about chastity devices in which I talked about a several weeks old, at that point, hunt for a cb3000. As I said then, my slave and I settled for the cb2000, which I liked enough to decide to keep it, instead of buying the cage for the 3000 separately, as I initially intended. I found that I liked the bars on the cage of the 2000 (a leash could be attached, for example) and I appreciated the access it gave, as opposed to holes, for cleaning and such. I also liked the pink color and it fit well; snug enough for it to be quite a treat when my slave had an erection, which happens several times per day. As he could pull himself out of the device, we also had the “points of intrigue,” which added to my satisfaction – and, eventually, his.
But damned if it hasn’t already broken. It’s probably been roughly two months since it was purchased and one day last week the cage broke. My slave was actually in the middle of telling me how much he loved to worship a certain part of my body and *crack* “Mistress, my chastity device broke.” Now, at first I thought it was a joke about how much he enjoyed worshipping, but I quickly saw what he meant. The cage had broken into several parts.
Perhaps I should add that my little slave liked to tug and push on his chastity when he was very hard, in order to feel the points dig deeper. But that should not have been enough to break it. What’s more, one of the rings (that go to the base of the penis) had cracked a week before but the device was still useable.
Once I stopped laughing at the whole situation, I came up with the solution of using another of the rings (a size smaller, as they give you a few ring options) and the rest of the device, without the cage. Essentially, my slave’s penis is out but the lock is still on and the points of intrigue are still doing their job, along with the gentle stretch the base ring gives to the balls. My slave has said that the points dig even deeper now, inexplicably, which was an unexpected treat.
However, this is only a short-term solution, and the hunt has been on for a new, metal device. At first I was sold on the Kali’s Teeth device, being that the PoI feature has been great with the cb2000 (my slave wanted the “beginner” model – how cute). Then I felt like it wasn’t enough. Because, no matter what it feels like for the wearer, visually, it’s just a little ring when I’m used to having some bulk and heft, really. I looked around a bit and found the neatest little device, the CockTrap.
Now, my slave is just being introduced to sounding but I have always had a deep love of urethral stretching, ever since I accidentally stuck my pinky nail in someone’s many years ago (cried like a baby, he did). The cocktrap’s best, and most useful, feature is a urethral wand that one can urinate through. It is curved, however, so erection is prevented. And, as an accessory one can buy a screw in order to plug the hole in the urethral wand to block urine. Other than that it is a simple locking device with a ring for the balls/base of the penis, and completely open, with just the tubes/ring/lock. Very visually appealing, without even seeing it on anyone. Just smooth lines and a pretty lock. From the pictures it appears to be gold-colored or bronze-ish in color, though it is metal (stainless steel?).
A really simple, beautiful, and novel little device… but, it was $250! The screw was another $30. Now, I can understand the free market idea of something being worth whatever someone will pay, but $300! Also, it doesn’t appear to have a return policy, but rather a $10 readjustment fee, as the device is custom made per buyer. But I just can’t imagine spending that kind of money on a slave’s penis, especially in a recession, even if we are getting out of it.
As he should be, the slave is excited to get it, with the intention of “saving up” for it, but I doubt I will let him. I can think of other things to buy. At current, my slave is in his broken chastity with a pair of his Mistress’ panties on asleep on the couch, and I am going through sites trying to find a better option. There are some DIY Kali’s Teeth instructions on a few sites, but I don’t think my slave is that advanced, and he has another DIY project going at the moment which I am much more excited about (and I may talk about that one at some point, but probably not). Times like now I need a welder/steelworker/hands on sub or slave, because it does look rather easy to assemble.
It makes me wonder sometimes if the whole “mainstream” thing isn’t for the best, at least as far as prices are concerned…
Okay, I have been up for over 24 hours now and I’m tired as hell (it’s actually 7:00am, even though I will schedule it to post at noon). This was my rant of the week and if anyone has the Cocktrap, has used it, or knows someone who does/has, let me know as I’m interested to hear if the consensus is that it is worth the $250-280. I wanted to add a picture of the slave in his broken chastity but I’m not sure if that’s allowed here (it’s pretty much all dick n’ balls) so I’ll wait. I may upload a picture of the Cocktrap off the site at a later date so people can see what I am talking about, but I found it here.
Gird your loins.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Q: New Pro-Domme Basics
I didn't even know any Dommes read the blog, so I was rather surprised, but definitely pleased, to get a question from one.
Q: I am just starting out as a pro-Domme. What things do you consider “must haves” for me?
A: First, I have to assume that if you don’t have clients already lined up, you know that you can/will have them. This isn’t a matter of how “good” you think you are, but your geographic area, its populace, and its economic situation. If you are living in a rural area, for example, unless your area has a cache of wealthy people, you may want to consider being a traveling Domme or having your customers travel to you – which will likely mean you will have less clients but charge more and you will need to cater to a certain crowd.
If you have already figured that part out, the first “must have” is a dedicated training place for your subs. This doesn’t mean an area in your home or a separate apartment. It could be a seedy but safe motel or, if you’re a traveling Domme, a chain of hotels that you like and know the layout of well. You could also rent a room from someone or, while I don’t recommend it, get a storage unit for the purpose. A dedicated place or type of place allows you to feel a bit more secure and empowered. It gives you a bit of an edge too, and as you’re in your element, allows you to relax and enjoy your work.
It is also extremely important that you have your own “real” and high-quality training tools. While you may be able to require that subs bring their own equipment, you do want repeat customers and to be remunerated well for your time, and this means carrying your own equipment. As a bare minimum, you should have some bondage gear (real, locking, metal handcuffs and ankle cuffs and/or locking arm and leg restraints are a good start), some corporal gear (a well-made leather or rubber crop, made for horse/pig use and a bamboo or rattan cane will suffice), locking ball gags, and some CBT devices (ball stretchers, urethral sounds, or ball busters) are a good start. Things like candles, leashes, and blindfolds can be bought inexpensively elsewhere. Whatever niche, if any, you provide, also make sure you have well-made and good-quality gear for that. It is better to spend more money on a few basic things than buy a lot of cheaply made or “beginner” style equipment that will be essentially useless. Also make sure you have good disinfectants and cleaners for whatever things you reuse that touch mucus membranes or intimate areas.
Finally, let someone you trust in on your whereabouts and schedule. This is really important. It can be as simple as just giving someone the name and telephone number of your sub while also knowing where you will be and when, doing that plus having a system in place in order to ensure your safety (perhaps a specific thing you will say in a text or something to that effect), or you may opt to have a bodyguard-type escort you to your meeting place(s) and either be there discretely or in the room for the duration.
Either way, be safe, enjoy yourself, and the best of luck to you.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
All about Emme P1
When people send me messages I tend to put some to the side with the "I'll get back to him/her" approach and I do forget now and again. I tend to do this with personal questions most often because I am always trying to address "more important" questions about a submissive's path to slavery.
Since April is Q&A month, I figured I would kick it off with personal questions. I am asked all sorts of odd personal questions, but the basic ones are the ones that I get tired of answering after a while, simply because it's monotonous. So, here are a few "Emme Essentials," if you are interested:
1. Is "Emme" your real name and how is it pronounced?
A. No, my name is not "Emme." Emme is pronounced "M" and is the first letter of my first name. I love the letter "M" and once read an insightful essay about words and names that start with it and their importance. Think "Mistress," "Madonna," "Mary," "Mother," and so forth. "Emme" embodies all of those things, in my opinion.
2. How old are you and what is your zodiac sign?
A. I am 27 and a Leo, though I'm not into zodiac signs. They are fun to read, but anyone who knows me knows I am not flashy, nor loud, or gaudy as any description of a Leo suggests.
3. Do you currently own slaves? If so, are they computer-based or real-time?
A. Yes. At the moment I just own one, but I am looking, with no real urgency, for his slave-brother. I am incredibly picky, however, and he is recently acquired. I chose him as opposed to him pursuing me and he left me early on but returned within a day. Now he is my real-time slave, is collared, in chastity, and limitless.
4. Are you religious?
A. Yes, in that I am a believer in Black Female Supremacy and I do believe in and "practice" it.
5. Did you go to college and if so what did you study?
A. Yes - psychology, sociology, and human resource management
And that's it for now. These are pretty simple ones and I don't answer questions I consider too personal anyway. If you have a question about me or anything else on-topic, you may email me at questions@goddessemme.com.
Since April is Q&A month, I figured I would kick it off with personal questions. I am asked all sorts of odd personal questions, but the basic ones are the ones that I get tired of answering after a while, simply because it's monotonous. So, here are a few "Emme Essentials," if you are interested:
1. Is "Emme" your real name and how is it pronounced?
A. No, my name is not "Emme." Emme is pronounced "M" and is the first letter of my first name. I love the letter "M" and once read an insightful essay about words and names that start with it and their importance. Think "Mistress," "Madonna," "Mary," "Mother," and so forth. "Emme" embodies all of those things, in my opinion.
2. How old are you and what is your zodiac sign?
A. I am 27 and a Leo, though I'm not into zodiac signs. They are fun to read, but anyone who knows me knows I am not flashy, nor loud, or gaudy as any description of a Leo suggests.
3. Do you currently own slaves? If so, are they computer-based or real-time?
A. Yes. At the moment I just own one, but I am looking, with no real urgency, for his slave-brother. I am incredibly picky, however, and he is recently acquired. I chose him as opposed to him pursuing me and he left me early on but returned within a day. Now he is my real-time slave, is collared, in chastity, and limitless.
4. Are you religious?
A. Yes, in that I am a believer in Black Female Supremacy and I do believe in and "practice" it.
5. Did you go to college and if so what did you study?
A. Yes - psychology, sociology, and human resource management
And that's it for now. These are pretty simple ones and I don't answer questions I consider too personal anyway. If you have a question about me or anything else on-topic, you may email me at questions@goddessemme.com.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Qs in April
I am excited about April! For no real reason except I am looking forward to warmth and seasonal things, like the change in my diet (to cold foods) and breaking out dresses and sandals. I am also going to be less busy this month than I was in March and I am looking forward to focusing on the blog, getting the site up to standards, and maybe even actually airing a radio show episode. Of course, I may not get the last two done, but it is good to have goals (smile).
I have to thank you guys for keeping me focused on the blog, and it will certainly continue, even if I miss a post here and there. Sometimes I do get burned out because I have nothing particular on my mind, but that won't be a problem this month. Because, this month I am focusing on answering questions that I have neglected for so long. I will also be accepting new questions at questions@GoddessEmme.com, though obviously I probably won't get to all of them. I am excited about this because I have been procrastinating for so long about it and it will be a great way to give myself some time to get new topics planned and some even written.
And, since this month is all about answering questions, I figured I would answer “when is the site/radio show going to be up?” as it is one I get often. And there is a lot to look forward to.
The Website
I am really excited about what I have planned for the site, but I had to check the legality of a few things and also ensure it would not be considered a “porn site” as many rules, regulations, and fees apply. I have the greenlight on almost everything but I decided to change the design and the program I used to create the draft.
Therefore I have a bit more work to do.
But, the site will have an online store to buy things for you and to tribute me. That will be the “basic” store, but there will be the “kink” store too, which will specialize in Goddess Emme-based products (smile) and will be for my truest acolytes, not the casual reader of this blog. There are some legal gray areas still, but I am working on getting the last few clarified.
There will be a media page, which will have direct access to the radio show, some “clip 4 sale” clips (in time, as they are semi-low priority), and some various programs that I find useful. This page will also have a link to my direct-connect phone line, which is like phone sex but is different (more on that later). I may add some pictures there too, just for the hell of it.
And a forum, of course, because I love forums. It took me a while to find a forum developer that I really liked and had enough options that I felt were necessary while being free, and I finally found one. It seems pretty good and will allow unique names, passwords, and some control on the admin side for content.
I’m considering giving my slave a blog on the site too. I know he needs some
writing-based service and I think he often feels very cloistered, and he is, underneath me and a community to take part in and blog/diary would be good for him.
Then a punishments page for everyone to make fun of those who need the humiliation after disappointing me; I will enjoy that. Also a page with applications for my professional services, real enslavement, and a few other things. Plus a few basic pages and two surprise pages that I won’t get into now. It should be good though, and whenever it is finished you are all expected to visit and such.
The Radio Show
Initially I had a “sidekick” who I dismissed after he annoyed me one too many times. Since then I have been sort of bored with the concept. I kept getting suggestions about having a “contest” but no one could tell me what on earth the contest was to be about. They just knew I should give away something (used panties came up a lot). While I don’t have any outright objections to the prize, I do need a topic for the contest, but we’ll see.
I really like the idea of an advice line sort of thing, but it will take quite a while to get enough people to make that viable. Of course, the topics would have to be on the topics of BFS and D/s. It will definitely be a call-in though. And maybe I’ll quiz a few callers who claim to be acolytes and see if they know their stuff, and give prizes if they do.
The Direct Line
Take the idea of “phone sex” take out the “sex,” and add “worship,” throw in some BDSM and a heavy dose of BFS and there you have it. Actually, the phone line will serve a variety of purposes. The first will be yet another way to tribute that is simple and effective, the second is for slaves and subs who want to speak to me directly (for a fee), and the third will be for those who want a dose of kink, by listening to real sessions, either existing ones or something they are interested in. It will be voyeuristic as I will not be speaking to them (though I will be on the phone) but they can put themselves in the position of my slave or whatever sub I am training. These sessions will likely be video recorded and available through the clips for sale area for after-phone pleasure.
The session work will be arranged in advance and paid for (through an existing service and site) before the actual sessions. The same is true for tributes. For subs who just want to talk, however, they will be able to almost 24/7 but at varying charges depending upon the time of day. This will be a per-minute fee and they will know what it costs prior to actually beginning the call, though a price schedule will also be scheduled somewhere. I will also be able to give people free minutes as I see fit and charge whatever I want per sub, which will be great for punishments.
This is separate from the call-in number for the radio show, as the radio show uses regular telephones with no fees, except any toll charges for those outside of the New York (I think, I have to recheck) calling area. Call from your cell.
The Book
I really want to write about something, I just don’t know what. I want to do some essays, D/s “self help,” and even fiction perhaps. It may not come to fruition, but I will simply self-publish if I do. Of course, anything I do will be made available on the website.
And a Few Other Things
I have a few ideas I am developing with others and a couple I am looking into on my own. We shall see what happens, but it’s good and you’ll like it!
That’s it!
It’s a lot, and most of it is profit-based. Though the website will be free, of course, it will hopefully encourage people to buy something from either tier. The radio show is free as well, but it has a tiny bit of profit potential through ad space. Everything else I discussed will cost you. The blog will always be free, however, as will the yahoo group (when it is re-launched).
Of course, we’ll see how much I commit to anyway. The great thing about this blog is that it’s something I can do at my leisure. I hate that the radio show locks me in at a certain time. It could all be wishful thinking as I am a spoiled, impatient Domme, but we shall see.
I have to thank you guys for keeping me focused on the blog, and it will certainly continue, even if I miss a post here and there. Sometimes I do get burned out because I have nothing particular on my mind, but that won't be a problem this month. Because, this month I am focusing on answering questions that I have neglected for so long. I will also be accepting new questions at questions@GoddessEmme.com, though obviously I probably won't get to all of them. I am excited about this because I have been procrastinating for so long about it and it will be a great way to give myself some time to get new topics planned and some even written.
And, since this month is all about answering questions, I figured I would answer “when is the site/radio show going to be up?” as it is one I get often. And there is a lot to look forward to.
The Website
I am really excited about what I have planned for the site, but I had to check the legality of a few things and also ensure it would not be considered a “porn site” as many rules, regulations, and fees apply. I have the greenlight on almost everything but I decided to change the design and the program I used to create the draft.
Therefore I have a bit more work to do.
But, the site will have an online store to buy things for you and to tribute me. That will be the “basic” store, but there will be the “kink” store too, which will specialize in Goddess Emme-based products (smile) and will be for my truest acolytes, not the casual reader of this blog. There are some legal gray areas still, but I am working on getting the last few clarified.
There will be a media page, which will have direct access to the radio show, some “clip 4 sale” clips (in time, as they are semi-low priority), and some various programs that I find useful. This page will also have a link to my direct-connect phone line, which is like phone sex but is different (more on that later). I may add some pictures there too, just for the hell of it.
And a forum, of course, because I love forums. It took me a while to find a forum developer that I really liked and had enough options that I felt were necessary while being free, and I finally found one. It seems pretty good and will allow unique names, passwords, and some control on the admin side for content.
I’m considering giving my slave a blog on the site too. I know he needs some
writing-based service and I think he often feels very cloistered, and he is, underneath me and a community to take part in and blog/diary would be good for him.
Then a punishments page for everyone to make fun of those who need the humiliation after disappointing me; I will enjoy that. Also a page with applications for my professional services, real enslavement, and a few other things. Plus a few basic pages and two surprise pages that I won’t get into now. It should be good though, and whenever it is finished you are all expected to visit and such.
The Radio Show
Initially I had a “sidekick” who I dismissed after he annoyed me one too many times. Since then I have been sort of bored with the concept. I kept getting suggestions about having a “contest” but no one could tell me what on earth the contest was to be about. They just knew I should give away something (used panties came up a lot). While I don’t have any outright objections to the prize, I do need a topic for the contest, but we’ll see.
I really like the idea of an advice line sort of thing, but it will take quite a while to get enough people to make that viable. Of course, the topics would have to be on the topics of BFS and D/s. It will definitely be a call-in though. And maybe I’ll quiz a few callers who claim to be acolytes and see if they know their stuff, and give prizes if they do.
The Direct Line
Take the idea of “phone sex” take out the “sex,” and add “worship,” throw in some BDSM and a heavy dose of BFS and there you have it. Actually, the phone line will serve a variety of purposes. The first will be yet another way to tribute that is simple and effective, the second is for slaves and subs who want to speak to me directly (for a fee), and the third will be for those who want a dose of kink, by listening to real sessions, either existing ones or something they are interested in. It will be voyeuristic as I will not be speaking to them (though I will be on the phone) but they can put themselves in the position of my slave or whatever sub I am training. These sessions will likely be video recorded and available through the clips for sale area for after-phone pleasure.
The session work will be arranged in advance and paid for (through an existing service and site) before the actual sessions. The same is true for tributes. For subs who just want to talk, however, they will be able to almost 24/7 but at varying charges depending upon the time of day. This will be a per-minute fee and they will know what it costs prior to actually beginning the call, though a price schedule will also be scheduled somewhere. I will also be able to give people free minutes as I see fit and charge whatever I want per sub, which will be great for punishments.
This is separate from the call-in number for the radio show, as the radio show uses regular telephones with no fees, except any toll charges for those outside of the New York (I think, I have to recheck) calling area. Call from your cell.
The Book
I really want to write about something, I just don’t know what. I want to do some essays, D/s “self help,” and even fiction perhaps. It may not come to fruition, but I will simply self-publish if I do. Of course, anything I do will be made available on the website.
And a Few Other Things
I have a few ideas I am developing with others and a couple I am looking into on my own. We shall see what happens, but it’s good and you’ll like it!
That’s it!
It’s a lot, and most of it is profit-based. Though the website will be free, of course, it will hopefully encourage people to buy something from either tier. The radio show is free as well, but it has a tiny bit of profit potential through ad space. Everything else I discussed will cost you. The blog will always be free, however, as will the yahoo group (when it is re-launched).
Of course, we’ll see how much I commit to anyway. The great thing about this blog is that it’s something I can do at my leisure. I hate that the radio show locks me in at a certain time. It could all be wishful thinking as I am a spoiled, impatient Domme, but we shall see.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Strict chastity: extinct?
I have been sick for about a week now. I am so rarely ill that it is hard for me to function when I am…I do turn into quite the spoiled brat. I’m not 100% but I am certainly better.
Last week I discussed some goodies that I bought and some things I intended to make. While I did not feel well enough to knit (though it would have been a good time to get some knitting done), I did buy more stuff. Go figure. I am happy with my decision to purchase the things I bought as they were the sorts of things I couldn’t think of replacements for and appeared to be pretty good deals to boot. The items haven’t been delivered yet so it’s too soon to tell whether or not I will like them.
This week’s post is actually from a month or so ago. After I typed it, something changed or I found something out so I decided to put it on the back-burner until I could properly investigate whatever new information I came across. Fortunately or unfortunately, I don’t remember what that information was. I’ve read the post twice and I simply cannot remember if I ever added anything to it or not. So, I may edit this post at a later date if I happen to recall whatever it is that I learned.
Oh, one more thing before I get into the new/old post. I have received a few emailed questions in the past week about this or that related to the overall subjects of D/s, BFS, and consensual slavery. I have not responded and I don’t intend to send responses via email. Instead, I have added the new topics to my list of questions and I have been making my way through them, bit by bit. If you have asked me a question and awaited a response that is why you haven’t gotten one and if you want to email me to ask a question please use ask@goddessemme.com in the future as my personal inbox has been pretty full as of late and I’ve been trying to separate things.
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Part of what happens when anything goes mainstream that was once counter-culture is that it is changed to appeal to the masses. Unfortunately for the original supporters of the new trend, the heart and soul of it is often lost in translation. It seems as though male chastity devices are the new “it thing” and I am sorry to say that the purists out there may be getting a huge “F U” in the process.
Now there may be an old-school sub wearing a leather contraption right now who has to beg to be released long enough to use the bathroom who knows that a piece of plastic with a lock attached is anything but original or pure and I get it. But, while I applaud your Mistress, I have no desire to micromanage that much on a daily basis. And that is what made the cb series so divine.
With the cb series form and function were well put together so that a Domme could ensure her subs were well tucked away and they could live semi-normally while being in constant knowledge that their penises were no longer accessible. And when some subs got tricky and learned to pull out, the points of intrigue were added, giving another layer of security while ensuring repeat and satisfied customers. The addition of plastic locks, for air travel and such, was a nice touch as well.
And while the devices didn’t outright hurt (necessarily), they were uncomfortable enough to make sure a sub knew its place. A sub could wash and urinate somewhat easily but it took some adjusting and getting used to. And of course, they couldn’t get out easily and they didn’t want to: mission accomplished.
Until someone told the housewives. Not that I have anything against the women themselves, but sheesh! The first time I heard about chastity in the “vanilla” world it was some program/article about a woman who found out her husband was cheating and instead of leaving him, as they had children, she decided to go to “extreme measures” to ensure he was being faithful. I chuckled in a “Girl Power” sort of way and forgot about it.
Looking back, I wonder if that’s what did it. Recently, my newest slave-in-training was purchasing things for his basic chastity and he sent me a link to a device he “liked” that I had never seen before. It was a silicone product with great claims about how “comfortable,” can “be cut with simple scissors,” and “no pain during nocturnal erections,” which made me laugh aloud when I first read it.
I laughed too when I assured him that he would not be in such a device and sent him to another site to buy a cb3000. I was a bit disappointed when I realized they only had black, which is pointless in my opinion, but I wasn’t too worried as that site was having a sale. But every site we went to had either black or nothing. Finally we decided on a cb2000, in pink, which I am actually quite fond of. When I checked a few sites a week or so later, however, even they were sold out. And it doesn't seem like they will be coming back.
It is possible that something else exists that is not mainstream enough for me personally to be aware of that suits all of my needs. It is also possible that there are other options that I will be happy with, or even that I get used to the silicone device and/or find that it's not as "comfortable" as it claims or at least can be made less so with a bit of effort, but I find it disheartening that the cb series is likely discontinued.
So, a toast to all the little beads of blood on the penises of good slaves in the past and present due to a stubborn erection and the PoIs of the cb series. Another toast to all of the slaves and subs who are pissed about the disappearance of the cb series and those who are trying to find less-comfy chastity devices now. Oh, and if you have any information about the cb series or good replacements (according to my criteria above), or if you've tried the silicone models, add your thoughts to the comment section (and links if you can) and I will investigate them.
Gird your loins.
Last week I discussed some goodies that I bought and some things I intended to make. While I did not feel well enough to knit (though it would have been a good time to get some knitting done), I did buy more stuff. Go figure. I am happy with my decision to purchase the things I bought as they were the sorts of things I couldn’t think of replacements for and appeared to be pretty good deals to boot. The items haven’t been delivered yet so it’s too soon to tell whether or not I will like them.
This week’s post is actually from a month or so ago. After I typed it, something changed or I found something out so I decided to put it on the back-burner until I could properly investigate whatever new information I came across. Fortunately or unfortunately, I don’t remember what that information was. I’ve read the post twice and I simply cannot remember if I ever added anything to it or not. So, I may edit this post at a later date if I happen to recall whatever it is that I learned.
Oh, one more thing before I get into the new/old post. I have received a few emailed questions in the past week about this or that related to the overall subjects of D/s, BFS, and consensual slavery. I have not responded and I don’t intend to send responses via email. Instead, I have added the new topics to my list of questions and I have been making my way through them, bit by bit. If you have asked me a question and awaited a response that is why you haven’t gotten one and if you want to email me to ask a question please use ask@goddessemme.com in the future as my personal inbox has been pretty full as of late and I’ve been trying to separate things.
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Part of what happens when anything goes mainstream that was once counter-culture is that it is changed to appeal to the masses. Unfortunately for the original supporters of the new trend, the heart and soul of it is often lost in translation. It seems as though male chastity devices are the new “it thing” and I am sorry to say that the purists out there may be getting a huge “F U” in the process.
Now there may be an old-school sub wearing a leather contraption right now who has to beg to be released long enough to use the bathroom who knows that a piece of plastic with a lock attached is anything but original or pure and I get it. But, while I applaud your Mistress, I have no desire to micromanage that much on a daily basis. And that is what made the cb series so divine.
With the cb series form and function were well put together so that a Domme could ensure her subs were well tucked away and they could live semi-normally while being in constant knowledge that their penises were no longer accessible. And when some subs got tricky and learned to pull out, the points of intrigue were added, giving another layer of security while ensuring repeat and satisfied customers. The addition of plastic locks, for air travel and such, was a nice touch as well.
And while the devices didn’t outright hurt (necessarily), they were uncomfortable enough to make sure a sub knew its place. A sub could wash and urinate somewhat easily but it took some adjusting and getting used to. And of course, they couldn’t get out easily and they didn’t want to: mission accomplished.
Until someone told the housewives. Not that I have anything against the women themselves, but sheesh! The first time I heard about chastity in the “vanilla” world it was some program/article about a woman who found out her husband was cheating and instead of leaving him, as they had children, she decided to go to “extreme measures” to ensure he was being faithful. I chuckled in a “Girl Power” sort of way and forgot about it.
Looking back, I wonder if that’s what did it. Recently, my newest slave-in-training was purchasing things for his basic chastity and he sent me a link to a device he “liked” that I had never seen before. It was a silicone product with great claims about how “comfortable,” can “be cut with simple scissors,” and “no pain during nocturnal erections,” which made me laugh aloud when I first read it.
I laughed too when I assured him that he would not be in such a device and sent him to another site to buy a cb3000. I was a bit disappointed when I realized they only had black, which is pointless in my opinion, but I wasn’t too worried as that site was having a sale. But every site we went to had either black or nothing. Finally we decided on a cb2000, in pink, which I am actually quite fond of. When I checked a few sites a week or so later, however, even they were sold out. And it doesn't seem like they will be coming back.
It is possible that something else exists that is not mainstream enough for me personally to be aware of that suits all of my needs. It is also possible that there are other options that I will be happy with, or even that I get used to the silicone device and/or find that it's not as "comfortable" as it claims or at least can be made less so with a bit of effort, but I find it disheartening that the cb series is likely discontinued.
So, a toast to all the little beads of blood on the penises of good slaves in the past and present due to a stubborn erection and the PoIs of the cb series. Another toast to all of the slaves and subs who are pissed about the disappearance of the cb series and those who are trying to find less-comfy chastity devices now. Oh, and if you have any information about the cb series or good replacements (according to my criteria above), or if you've tried the silicone models, add your thoughts to the comment section (and links if you can) and I will investigate them.
Gird your loins.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Leashes and collars and stretchers, oh my!
Lately I’ve been buying a lot of D/s gear. Of course, fetish stuff is never cheap, and that generally feels right somehow. It’s such a niche that it makes sense that some of the BDSM-specific toys would be pricey. Even if you look at an actual sex toy store versus a fetish store, the fetish store is always pretty expensive. I do what I can to cut down prices on some of the not-so-specific items, especially dildos and whatnot, and generally just accept that the must-haves are almost luxury items.
That said, I have found that if I spend too much time buying fetish stuff from fetish stores I generally lose sight of my “bargain hunter” side and end up wanting the whole set of something unnecessary or wanting an item that I could get almost anywhere but the fetish shop’s version looks better than whatever I would find elsewhere. A great example of this is a simple enema bag. An enema bag can be bought anywhere, pretty much dirt cheap, with all of the great nozzles and uses. Fetish websites have enema bags that cost way over $50, and have the same nozzles or fewer, but they are black and shiny and much easier on the eyes and the sensibilities than one that reminds you of a nursing home.
Sure, a pro Domme can buy the best everything, because they are paid well to create the fantasy and they’re all write-offs anyway. For the lifestyle Domme, in a recession no less, sometimes you have to think a bit smarter, or at least consider your bottom line. It becomes important to ask yourself what is most important and then decide what you can scrimp on.
Personally, I think crops, whips, and paddles should all be the top priority, in terms of expense, as the quality of these items matters. I am a crop fanatic and canes are my runner-up, so I use them often. I prefer buying crops (and whips and floggers, I suppose) from horse stores. They aren’t necessarily more expensive than what you would find in a fetish shop anyway, but they are almost always better-made. I tend to find bamboo canes everywhere. At the farmer’s market, for example, there are stalls for people selling bits of this and that, and I find bamboo walking canes and sticks often. I’m also a fan of a sub getting a switch off of a tree, when necessary, however, so I don’t buy canes as much, though I have broken many. Wooden back-scratchers are good when you don't have a cane handy.
Collars, leashes, and stretchers, however, are the kinds of things that are used
every day but are not really hard-use items. While you may spank someone with a leash if it’s handy, you aren’t doing much else except pulling it or tying it to something. And yet, these three items are some of the most expensive when it comes to their actual value, cost to make, and markup. Why? Because they’re cheaply made, sold widely, but a few embellishments can make a lot of visual difference even if the product is the same.
I must ask, are ball stretchers even necessary as a product? I can think of a million things that can stretch balls for under a dollar or two (if that). But when I see a pretty ball stretcher and the cute weights I always want one. And then I want another one, and so on. Collars are similar. I can buy a million collars and always want another one, because there are so many options, and, I tell myself, so many reasons why I should have every one. In reality, a sub probably needs two and maybe three to four for the sake of having a few options. The outside collar is of course essential, as it needs to be something that can be discreet if it is required, and one for home. A Domme may choose to have one for parties or something “formal” and maybe one more that is good for some other purpose. Some may not need to lock but some should.
Leashes become a matter of being part of a combo/leash set, complementing the collars, or at least being easy on the eyes. So we want the leather or leather-look, or some nice thick chain, or whatever floats our boats. But it gets expensive! Even if you buy the collar/leash combo from pet stores they can still get expensive…as can dog bowls and whatever other things that can be purchased from pet stores, which are of course specialty stores. And sure you can go to Wal-mart or the equivalent, but you normally find the most plain, general purpose bowls and leashes there.
Last week I thought to myself, “the Dollar Store!” and headed to my local Dollar Tree store. And I loved it. I bought a large porcelain dog bowl with a really cute pattern, several leashes, a bunch of locks, and all sorts of “general purpose” stuff that I know I can use in creative ways. Oh, and I bought several collars. Though they were all nylon (like the leashes), some had studs and some had rhinestones, others had interesting patterns, and even others had simple words stamped on them that were much better suited for D/s than real animals (my favorite being a plain black collar with “DOG” plainly printed in white).
The collars came in thin widths and wide widths, and were also different lengths. The shorter lengths with wide widths could be nice for ball stretchers, with the added benefit of having the loop for leash attachment. Many of the collars had leashes that matched them perfectly but were not a set. At $2, who cared? Of course, the quality of the collars weren’t great. I can see that some of the thin ones had short life spans if used for their intended purposes, but some of them looked like chokers, which made them good contenders for outside-use collars.
Now, most of these collars came with the closures that are similar to backpack strap closures, the ones where you squeeze the sides to remove one side from the other (that description sucks, yes, but I’ve been typing for a while now – deal with it). I looked at them hard, however, and I think I can remove those plastic parts and add the right hardware to make them lockable…and did I mention I bought a bunch of locks from there too? There were Velcro ones, too, and those made me think “ball stretchers” even more.
On the topic of ball stretchers and still in the spirit of do-it-yourself (or have a sub do it), I’ve been thinking about ball stretchers that please the eyes and are still dirt cheap. I’ve considered knitting some and/or weaving a few. A good, durable yarn and tight knit and/or weave could also hold a few metal loops for locks and/or leashes. I will probably break out the yarn and needles this week and see if I can make something I like. I may also take pictures of the bounty I bought at the dollar store, and whatever I come up with for stretchers. I spent around $20 in the dollar store, by the way, and spent $40 on one collar, one collar/leash combo, and some anal beads a couple of weeks ago.
Will I stop going on sprees, especially for my favorite items? No. But I will be more creative with those things that are not as personally important but I use often. Who doesn't love a deal?
That said, I have found that if I spend too much time buying fetish stuff from fetish stores I generally lose sight of my “bargain hunter” side and end up wanting the whole set of something unnecessary or wanting an item that I could get almost anywhere but the fetish shop’s version looks better than whatever I would find elsewhere. A great example of this is a simple enema bag. An enema bag can be bought anywhere, pretty much dirt cheap, with all of the great nozzles and uses. Fetish websites have enema bags that cost way over $50, and have the same nozzles or fewer, but they are black and shiny and much easier on the eyes and the sensibilities than one that reminds you of a nursing home.
Sure, a pro Domme can buy the best everything, because they are paid well to create the fantasy and they’re all write-offs anyway. For the lifestyle Domme, in a recession no less, sometimes you have to think a bit smarter, or at least consider your bottom line. It becomes important to ask yourself what is most important and then decide what you can scrimp on.
Personally, I think crops, whips, and paddles should all be the top priority, in terms of expense, as the quality of these items matters. I am a crop fanatic and canes are my runner-up, so I use them often. I prefer buying crops (and whips and floggers, I suppose) from horse stores. They aren’t necessarily more expensive than what you would find in a fetish shop anyway, but they are almost always better-made. I tend to find bamboo canes everywhere. At the farmer’s market, for example, there are stalls for people selling bits of this and that, and I find bamboo walking canes and sticks often. I’m also a fan of a sub getting a switch off of a tree, when necessary, however, so I don’t buy canes as much, though I have broken many. Wooden back-scratchers are good when you don't have a cane handy.
Collars, leashes, and stretchers, however, are the kinds of things that are used
every day but are not really hard-use items. While you may spank someone with a leash if it’s handy, you aren’t doing much else except pulling it or tying it to something. And yet, these three items are some of the most expensive when it comes to their actual value, cost to make, and markup. Why? Because they’re cheaply made, sold widely, but a few embellishments can make a lot of visual difference even if the product is the same.
I must ask, are ball stretchers even necessary as a product? I can think of a million things that can stretch balls for under a dollar or two (if that). But when I see a pretty ball stretcher and the cute weights I always want one. And then I want another one, and so on. Collars are similar. I can buy a million collars and always want another one, because there are so many options, and, I tell myself, so many reasons why I should have every one. In reality, a sub probably needs two and maybe three to four for the sake of having a few options. The outside collar is of course essential, as it needs to be something that can be discreet if it is required, and one for home. A Domme may choose to have one for parties or something “formal” and maybe one more that is good for some other purpose. Some may not need to lock but some should.
Leashes become a matter of being part of a combo/leash set, complementing the collars, or at least being easy on the eyes. So we want the leather or leather-look, or some nice thick chain, or whatever floats our boats. But it gets expensive! Even if you buy the collar/leash combo from pet stores they can still get expensive…as can dog bowls and whatever other things that can be purchased from pet stores, which are of course specialty stores. And sure you can go to Wal-mart or the equivalent, but you normally find the most plain, general purpose bowls and leashes there.
Last week I thought to myself, “the Dollar Store!” and headed to my local Dollar Tree store. And I loved it. I bought a large porcelain dog bowl with a really cute pattern, several leashes, a bunch of locks, and all sorts of “general purpose” stuff that I know I can use in creative ways. Oh, and I bought several collars. Though they were all nylon (like the leashes), some had studs and some had rhinestones, others had interesting patterns, and even others had simple words stamped on them that were much better suited for D/s than real animals (my favorite being a plain black collar with “DOG” plainly printed in white).
The collars came in thin widths and wide widths, and were also different lengths. The shorter lengths with wide widths could be nice for ball stretchers, with the added benefit of having the loop for leash attachment. Many of the collars had leashes that matched them perfectly but were not a set. At $2, who cared? Of course, the quality of the collars weren’t great. I can see that some of the thin ones had short life spans if used for their intended purposes, but some of them looked like chokers, which made them good contenders for outside-use collars.
Now, most of these collars came with the closures that are similar to backpack strap closures, the ones where you squeeze the sides to remove one side from the other (that description sucks, yes, but I’ve been typing for a while now – deal with it). I looked at them hard, however, and I think I can remove those plastic parts and add the right hardware to make them lockable…and did I mention I bought a bunch of locks from there too? There were Velcro ones, too, and those made me think “ball stretchers” even more.
On the topic of ball stretchers and still in the spirit of do-it-yourself (or have a sub do it), I’ve been thinking about ball stretchers that please the eyes and are still dirt cheap. I’ve considered knitting some and/or weaving a few. A good, durable yarn and tight knit and/or weave could also hold a few metal loops for locks and/or leashes. I will probably break out the yarn and needles this week and see if I can make something I like. I may also take pictures of the bounty I bought at the dollar store, and whatever I come up with for stretchers. I spent around $20 in the dollar store, by the way, and spent $40 on one collar, one collar/leash combo, and some anal beads a couple of weeks ago.
Will I stop going on sprees, especially for my favorite items? No. But I will be more creative with those things that are not as personally important but I use often. Who doesn't love a deal?
Monday, February 22, 2010
And you are? (pt 1)
What do you really think about Black people? I mean really, when you think of "Black Woman" or "Black man," what pops up in your head? What about "African-American" Woman or man? Indian? Asian? white? caucasian? How similar is your mental image for "Hawaiian" and "Pacific Islander"?
We all have our own connotations of whatever labels we use. We look at the world through glasses that are colored by our experience and our points of view. We take those things and turn them inward, and we shape ourselves accordingly.
This can be easily validated in the world of D/s. The difference between “sub” and “slave” is telling. The difference between “alpha slave” and “switch” can be insignificant or huge, depending on who’s using the terms. And the same, of course, is true for Dommes.
This past week I’ve pondered that concept a lot. There was a “slave,” for example, whose profile said “if you call yourself a Goddess or a Princess, do not message me.” I thought about what he meant a bit, and though I wasn’t offended and actually agree that “Princess” is a strange title for a Domme, I did find it to be a totally un-slavelike thing to say.
The second scenario was a “sub” who wants to be fully transformed into a slave.. I often tell new potentials to create email addresses, specifically to use in our correspondence. This particular sub chose an address that began with two words in two languages that mean king and ended it with a rather generic “yours” or something. I found it absurd. Of course, his response to questioning was equally absurd. Apparently he believed that he should express that though he was quite privileged he would be mine. And he didn’t use “slave” because he didn’t want to be presumptuous, as he was whatever I deemed, after all. I allowed him another chance and he failed again and that was that.
Now, as it relates to the titles Dommes use, I feel similarly to how I feel about the use of sub and slave. A Domme is the lot of us, but I consider a “Goddess” to be self-actualized much in the same way that I consider a “slave” to be. To me, a Mistress is simply an owner of slaves and a “Queen” is right before Goddess, in the sense of growing towards something. A “Princess” to me reads as a switch or a female alpha slave as her title suggests that someone is ahead of her
But that is my opinion based on my own life and experience, and they have certainly shaped my world. I did not call myself a Goddess or a Queen or even a Domme the first times. But I knew that the transition from Domme, to Queen, to Goddess would be work. For years between teenaged to mid-twenties I stayed at “Queen.” There were certain things that I was afraid of accepting or doing that were inescapable in order to earn the title Goddess.
I smoked cigarettes for years, entirely addicted, and I hated that as it showed I lacked the discipline to quit. And how could I teach anyone else discipline on such a deep level if I had not mastered it myself? I had trepidations at the idea of “coming out of the closet” to everyone I knew, which I didn’t feel I had to do as a Queen. I wasn’t sure even if I could say “forever” and mean it to a slave, and that was obviously important. I thought, maybe I would turn 40 and decide I wanted a husband and kids…then what? And I had never played a submissive role in a relationship. Ever.
As a “Queen” I could have contracts and I could always rip them up before the date I’d set, myself. As a Queen I could have limits. As a Queen I could always change my mind.
At some point I decided to test out a “vanilla” life. I got rid of all my kink and decided to “fall in love” with my best male friend, a submissive guy but not a “submissive,” who’d always been in love with me, moved in and settled down. And I worked HARD at being submissive. Poor darling, I worried him to death. I hadn’t thought about the fact that he was originally drawn to me because I was dominant. He didn’t know how to react to the power I pushed on him.
It was over in six months. It actually ended with a fist fight between the two of us, in which I threw the first and last punches. But those six months taught me so much that to this day, years later, I appreciate every day of that experience. I could relate to subs in a way I had never been able to as I had been there before. I could see, also, how much responsibility it took to be a Domme from the perspective of the one who depended upon the dominance of another. And I appreciated who I am and who subs are more than ever.
It seems like almost everything was easy after that. I wish I could say that quitting smoking was something that took a lot of discipline and patience but in reality it didn’t. One day I just knew I didn’t need them anymore and put the one I was smoking out. It was the same attitude I used when met with a variety of issues that had once been challenges, because I understood that I had no choice in being a Domme or a “regular” woman and there was no going back. When subs speak of the need, I can relate.
I expect more from myself than ever. And yes, I get frustrated with myself when I am angered by something or someone that I should be beyond. I take myself to task if I worry about what someone thinks of me, or compare myself to other women, or consider bending my principles.
Of all the things I learned over those six months, I suppose I am happiest that I made peace with the “nice” and maternal version of myself. For a while I was unsure of how that fit in the otherwise dominant woman. I felt almost ashamed of being sensitive to the fact that, yes, I was attracted to seeing a crawling, pained man coming towards me in absolute bliss because it made me want to stroke and torture him. I thought for a while that “We” were supposed to kick instead of stretch and cut instead of scratch deeply and leisurely. Popping a nipple into the mouth of a sub while hurting him was something I was bothered by, even though I loved it.
Being a Goddess meant no more “Us” and instead simply me. I have no peers in the sense that I live the life I gave something up for and it is mine alone. Whatever other Dommes do, whatever the subs who are not under me like, whatever the “community” uses to define the D and the s have nothing at all to do with who I am and what I like. I earned my title the hard way and I don’t intend to be anything different or anything less…even when it’s hard.
And you are?
(Part 1 is dedicated to a sissy who will one day be a slave [take care] and a bitch who was once a pig and is being born today, on its birthday [welcome])
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