Q: Punishments

This is the last question of "Q&As in April." I chose it because it felt like it was relevant enough to the sensibilities of BDSM that it could actually dispel a lot of misconception. I’ve discussed it here before (I think) but I wanted to give it a bit more attention.

Q: How should a slave be punished?

A: This is a question that every Domme and submissive has likely considered at some point. For pro-Dommes and paying subs, the answer is you can’t. The biggest actual punishment would probably be to make him a dom or make him enact whoever he is daily, which of course would be pointless and the submissive may not decide to spend his paycheck on your services the next time he wants to be used.

For the lifestyle Domme and slave, the question is an important one, and the answer is seen above; the biggest punishment for a slave is not to be allowed to serve. Now, obviously, on one hand whatever the slave does or has done is a matter of service because it is in service by the nature of it being punished in the first place. The slave knows it is owned and a Mistress should never play games about giving the slave away or disowning it, as it breeds the wrong kinds of emotions in the slave and creates a slave who cannot trust its owner and is therefore not trustworthy.

First, let me clarify what I mean by “punish” as it is an important distinction. I do not mean the basic use a slave gets, that may involve physical pain and torture. I mean “discipline” when I say punish, and by that I mean what you do when your slave has broken a rule, become insolent, or otherwise acted in a way that you find unacceptable. I find all other use, essentially of any sort, to be training, as it trains a slave how to maintain its slavishness, appreciate its service, and remember its position. These are not punishments. If you cane your slave every morning or whenever the spirit moves you, this is not punishment but training for the slave and service/use from the slave. This sort of use should not be considered negative, but rather a simply reality of their enslavement.

Every slave has a reason why it became a slave in the first place. It has that special interest that led it to its enslavement and that interest is known to its Mistress even if it never confides. And that is what is manipulated for the sake of punishment. Does your slave love to be tied up? Don’t do it. Instead, have it walk up and down the street for an hour. Does your slave love the bite of the whip? Take it away. Use the whip, perhaps hitting the floor or another hard surface, to make the delicious sound that it is used to hearing with the accompanying slap, while the slave is doing its chores. Dangle it in front of its face like a carrot while it is being punished, letting it know that the privilege of its whippings have been taken away. Keep your Goddess feet away from your little foot fetishist or the strap on away from your anal whore. Get good service in all other ways while ensuring your slave is kept docile and slavish without its favorite form of service.

There are those slaves who love being used, and love service of any sort. Put those in the corner of every room you are in to hear the noises of daily activities while not being able to take part in its regularly scheduled ways. This is also useful for houseboys, sometimes, and male wives, or domestics of any sort.

There are some basic rules to follow when punishing slaves of any sort. First, don’t humiliate them, call them names, or anything of the sort when they are being punished. Every slave likes humiliation. Instead, express your dissatisfaction in a frank and impersonal way and otherwise ignore them. Rough treatment will also likely be enjoyable, so instead of dragging them by their collar, have them walk deliberately from place to place. Be a corrections officer or warden instead of a drill sergeant. Demand the best in an unemotional tone, and let them know that you do not get anything out of punishing them; that their real use comes when you use them as you do normally, even with rough use.