This is the last question of "Q&As in April." I chose it because it felt like it was relevant enough to the sensibilities of BDSM that it could actually dispel a lot of misconception. I’ve discussed it here before (I think) but I wanted to give it a bit more attention.
Q: How should a slave be punished?
A: This is a question that every Domme and submissive has likely considered at some point. For pro-Dommes and paying subs, the answer is you can’t. The biggest actual punishment would probably be to make him a dom or make him enact whoever he is daily, which of course would be pointless and the submissive may not decide to spend his paycheck on your services the next time he wants to be used.
For the lifestyle Domme and slave, the question is an important one, and the answer is seen above; the biggest punishment for a slave is not to be allowed to serve. Now, obviously, on one hand whatever the slave does or has done is a matter of service because it is in service by the nature of it being punished in the first place. The slave knows it is owned and a Mistress should never play games about giving the slave away or disowning it, as it breeds the wrong kinds of emotions in the slave and creates a slave who cannot trust its owner and is therefore not trustworthy.
First, let me clarify what I mean by “punish” as it is an important distinction. I do not mean the basic use a slave gets, that may involve physical pain and torture. I mean “discipline” when I say punish, and by that I mean what you do when your slave has broken a rule, become insolent, or otherwise acted in a way that you find unacceptable. I find all other use, essentially of any sort, to be training, as it trains a slave how to maintain its slavishness, appreciate its service, and remember its position. These are not punishments. If you cane your slave every morning or whenever the spirit moves you, this is not punishment but training for the slave and service/use from the slave. This sort of use should not be considered negative, but rather a simply reality of their enslavement.
Every slave has a reason why it became a slave in the first place. It has that special interest that led it to its enslavement and that interest is known to its Mistress even if it never confides. And that is what is manipulated for the sake of punishment. Does your slave love to be tied up? Don’t do it. Instead, have it walk up and down the street for an hour. Does your slave love the bite of the whip? Take it away. Use the whip, perhaps hitting the floor or another hard surface, to make the delicious sound that it is used to hearing with the accompanying slap, while the slave is doing its chores. Dangle it in front of its face like a carrot while it is being punished, letting it know that the privilege of its whippings have been taken away. Keep your Goddess feet away from your little foot fetishist or the strap on away from your anal whore. Get good service in all other ways while ensuring your slave is kept docile and slavish without its favorite form of service.
There are those slaves who love being used, and love service of any sort. Put those in the corner of every room you are in to hear the noises of daily activities while not being able to take part in its regularly scheduled ways. This is also useful for houseboys, sometimes, and male wives, or domestics of any sort.
There are some basic rules to follow when punishing slaves of any sort. First, don’t humiliate them, call them names, or anything of the sort when they are being punished. Every slave likes humiliation. Instead, express your dissatisfaction in a frank and impersonal way and otherwise ignore them. Rough treatment will also likely be enjoyable, so instead of dragging them by their collar, have them walk deliberately from place to place. Be a corrections officer or warden instead of a drill sergeant. Demand the best in an unemotional tone, and let them know that you do not get anything out of punishing them; that their real use comes when you use them as you do normally, even with rough use.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
All about Emme P2
Here is another of the questions I am asked some variation of pretty often. People stubbornly believe that I hate men, inexplicably.
Q: Do you hate men?
A: I am always a bit shocked by this question, as I actually love men quite a bit. I understand how some have that perception based on the lifestyle itself, but I find in jarring when someone in the lifestyle asks me such a thing. Yet, I suppose believing female supremacy and/or actual enslavement of men, as opposed to simple domination are reasons why I may be mistaken for a man-hater. I assure you, in some ways, I like men more than women.
That said, I like men who exhibit what I believe to be the natural state of manhood, which is submission. What I don’t like is patriarchal societies or world views in which men are supposed to be the “heads of households” and women are the submissive figures. These sorts of views miss the point, in my opinion, which is that men want to submit to and care for women. Physical prowess has nothing to do with the mental capacity for submission, and in fact, it makes sense that the two would be natural sides of the same coin.
Look at the animal kingdom. Lions, considered the basis for human male theories on patriarchal societies really consist of the male lion, surrounded by females who hunt and gather. Male lions do not hunt unless they have to. Match that to the concept of the human male and the similarity is not in the gendered role but in the service; which of the sexes is known as the “hunter-gatherer”?
Of course, neither cooks the meals in the lion’s pride, and women, it is classically known, are the cooks and preparers of the human family. Food preparation is a signifier of submission for us, it seems. Now – quick - name five well-known chefs. How many were male and how many were female? Rachel Ray doesn’t count – she is not a chef. Julia Child is acceptable, however. Now, if you’re a television watcher, think of the last winners of any cooking shows you’ve seen or heard of. How many were women?
Even the “emotional” concept of women isn’t validated in research, as studies have shown that women choose men methodically and by virtue of traits that will make them good caregiver-providers, while men make highly emotional decisions when choosing a mate. What women do exhibit in terms of emotion, is a wider range of emotions that they can typify, express, and identify in others. This is commonly referred to as “emotional intelligence” and is a useful tool, believe me, when it comes to monitoring and training a slave.
In short, while I don’t hate men, it bothers me to see their talents wasted and to see them in positions that deep down they know they are not capable of or even desirous of. I believe the ethnocentric ideals of the white male were born out of inferiority-feelings, and they have only negative outcomes. The only solution is a form of extremism that matches the extremism of the patriarchal fallacy, and that is simple Female Supremacy. We shouldn’t have to remind men that we are superior, but we will until it is as deep-seated as the bullshit they profess to believe now.
The males I take into slavery and/or training are males who show potential and a desire to be their true selves. It is an honor to serve a woman, not a punishment, and as such, I would never take on a slave I hated. Each man that is broken into a beautifully submissive slave becomes a beacon for man in his truest sense; a man who uses his talents for the greater good and enjoys his service and is entirely confident in his “manhood” because he knows what the word means.
Q: Do you hate men?
A: I am always a bit shocked by this question, as I actually love men quite a bit. I understand how some have that perception based on the lifestyle itself, but I find in jarring when someone in the lifestyle asks me such a thing. Yet, I suppose believing female supremacy and/or actual enslavement of men, as opposed to simple domination are reasons why I may be mistaken for a man-hater. I assure you, in some ways, I like men more than women.
That said, I like men who exhibit what I believe to be the natural state of manhood, which is submission. What I don’t like is patriarchal societies or world views in which men are supposed to be the “heads of households” and women are the submissive figures. These sorts of views miss the point, in my opinion, which is that men want to submit to and care for women. Physical prowess has nothing to do with the mental capacity for submission, and in fact, it makes sense that the two would be natural sides of the same coin.
Look at the animal kingdom. Lions, considered the basis for human male theories on patriarchal societies really consist of the male lion, surrounded by females who hunt and gather. Male lions do not hunt unless they have to. Match that to the concept of the human male and the similarity is not in the gendered role but in the service; which of the sexes is known as the “hunter-gatherer”?
Of course, neither cooks the meals in the lion’s pride, and women, it is classically known, are the cooks and preparers of the human family. Food preparation is a signifier of submission for us, it seems. Now – quick - name five well-known chefs. How many were male and how many were female? Rachel Ray doesn’t count – she is not a chef. Julia Child is acceptable, however. Now, if you’re a television watcher, think of the last winners of any cooking shows you’ve seen or heard of. How many were women?
Even the “emotional” concept of women isn’t validated in research, as studies have shown that women choose men methodically and by virtue of traits that will make them good caregiver-providers, while men make highly emotional decisions when choosing a mate. What women do exhibit in terms of emotion, is a wider range of emotions that they can typify, express, and identify in others. This is commonly referred to as “emotional intelligence” and is a useful tool, believe me, when it comes to monitoring and training a slave.
In short, while I don’t hate men, it bothers me to see their talents wasted and to see them in positions that deep down they know they are not capable of or even desirous of. I believe the ethnocentric ideals of the white male were born out of inferiority-feelings, and they have only negative outcomes. The only solution is a form of extremism that matches the extremism of the patriarchal fallacy, and that is simple Female Supremacy. We shouldn’t have to remind men that we are superior, but we will until it is as deep-seated as the bullshit they profess to believe now.
The males I take into slavery and/or training are males who show potential and a desire to be their true selves. It is an honor to serve a woman, not a punishment, and as such, I would never take on a slave I hated. Each man that is broken into a beautifully submissive slave becomes a beacon for man in his truest sense; a man who uses his talents for the greater good and enjoys his service and is entirely confident in his “manhood” because he knows what the word means.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Slave Nutrition Basics Part II: Foods
I may add a sample weekly diet for a slave at some point, as this seems rather vague. I may add to it or edit it later, as well.
Once a vitamin regimen has been established, a slave's diet can be quite strict. I have found that dehydrated foods are a great option. They keep well (most are designed to last years for the "end of the world" survivalists), are relatively inexpensive, and have some nutritional value.
That said, pre-packaged dehydrated foods can be very high in sodium. For this reason, I suggest buying separate dehydrated ingredients in order to control sodium, flavor, and nutritional value. A vacuum-sealing canister device can ensure freshness and quality for home-mixed blends. I own my own food dehydrator and that can be a good investment too in order to buy things that are cheap or on sale, dehydrate them, and vacuum them.
You can purchase dehydrated meats as well as grains and vegetables, but, if a Mistress wants to keep costs lower, I promote vegetarian or vegan slaves. With proper nutritional support, this diet may be the best option for a slave, as it is simple, based on nutrition instead of taste, and would likely be very different that the food its owner enjoys, food that it may also be required to prepare.
Some fresh things can be added as a treat of for nutritional content and a breakfast of bran in warm months and oats in cold months is good. Fresh things that are approaching their expiration date and aren't great for a Goddess meal are perfect as a treat for slaves. Water and tea should really be all a slave needs to drink, especially if it eats a lot of pre-packaged dehydrated foods. That said, nothing is wrong with juice if the Mistress so desires.
Fiber is also a great addition to any healthy diet, be it slave or owner. While it certainly "cleans the pipes," it has the added benefit of helping the slave feel fuller longer, which is a good thing when their diets can sometimes be limited and sparse. Of course, fiber can be the sort that is mixed with a liquid or fiber from bran cereals and such. I suggest using both, but using “water soluble” fiber with less liquid than directed in order to create slurry (what would be at the bottom of the glass otherwise), which can be heaped atop whatever else the slave is eating.
Finally, “nutritional” or “meal replacement” shakes are a viable option, particularly if the slave works outside the home. I suggest buying generic options and the cheapest ones available, as well as sugar-free options, should your slave’s diet be totally restrictive. They are vitamin-enriched and high in calories, which should help the slave maintain the calorie count it needs for energy. In order to be aware of the calorie count your slave likely requires, do a quick web search for calorie intake calculator. After a cursory search I found this one, though I have not used it. Model whatever calculator you use off of the parameters found there, as things such as age and level of activity factor when calculating how many calories someone needs. Of course, you can always go by the FDA average of 2000, but it may be more or less than your slave needs, which could lead to weight gain or lethargy.
Once a vitamin regimen has been established, a slave's diet can be quite strict. I have found that dehydrated foods are a great option. They keep well (most are designed to last years for the "end of the world" survivalists), are relatively inexpensive, and have some nutritional value.
That said, pre-packaged dehydrated foods can be very high in sodium. For this reason, I suggest buying separate dehydrated ingredients in order to control sodium, flavor, and nutritional value. A vacuum-sealing canister device can ensure freshness and quality for home-mixed blends. I own my own food dehydrator and that can be a good investment too in order to buy things that are cheap or on sale, dehydrate them, and vacuum them.
You can purchase dehydrated meats as well as grains and vegetables, but, if a Mistress wants to keep costs lower, I promote vegetarian or vegan slaves. With proper nutritional support, this diet may be the best option for a slave, as it is simple, based on nutrition instead of taste, and would likely be very different that the food its owner enjoys, food that it may also be required to prepare.
Some fresh things can be added as a treat of for nutritional content and a breakfast of bran in warm months and oats in cold months is good. Fresh things that are approaching their expiration date and aren't great for a Goddess meal are perfect as a treat for slaves. Water and tea should really be all a slave needs to drink, especially if it eats a lot of pre-packaged dehydrated foods. That said, nothing is wrong with juice if the Mistress so desires.
Fiber is also a great addition to any healthy diet, be it slave or owner. While it certainly "cleans the pipes," it has the added benefit of helping the slave feel fuller longer, which is a good thing when their diets can sometimes be limited and sparse. Of course, fiber can be the sort that is mixed with a liquid or fiber from bran cereals and such. I suggest using both, but using “water soluble” fiber with less liquid than directed in order to create slurry (what would be at the bottom of the glass otherwise), which can be heaped atop whatever else the slave is eating.
Finally, “nutritional” or “meal replacement” shakes are a viable option, particularly if the slave works outside the home. I suggest buying generic options and the cheapest ones available, as well as sugar-free options, should your slave’s diet be totally restrictive. They are vitamin-enriched and high in calories, which should help the slave maintain the calorie count it needs for energy. In order to be aware of the calorie count your slave likely requires, do a quick web search for calorie intake calculator. After a cursory search I found this one, though I have not used it. Model whatever calculator you use off of the parameters found there, as things such as age and level of activity factor when calculating how many calories someone needs. Of course, you can always go by the FDA average of 2000, but it may be more or less than your slave needs, which could lead to weight gain or lethargy.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Slave Nutrition Basics Part I: Supplements
Q. What should an owned slave be allowed to eat?
This is an old question, asked by a former member of the yahoo group when it was still up and running. I have been asked variations of this question a lot, however, and I think the topic deserves its own post. I have a lot of information to share on the topic, so I decided to break it into parts and I will likely edit them along the way. I have to add the disclaimer that I am not a nutritionist, nor am I medical doctor. My advice is simply my opinion.
A. A slave's diet should be nutrition-based. Everything should start with a good supplement or mix of supplements that help provide the slave the nutritional support it needs, especially the essential vitamins and minerals that the body does not make. Of course, the slave’s Owner should be taking supplements as well for the same reasons (but more on that in another post, perhaps). The supplement regimen should be based on its service and lifestyle as well.
For example, a toilet slave needs a healthy mix of digestive aids and good bacteria while having good immune system support, as does a garbage disposal/trashcan slave. The nature of eating waste, no matter what form it takes, is such that the body will fight against it. Though digestive aids and bacterial supplements will only go so far, and perhaps illness every now and again is unavoidable, it just makes sense to give the body some help fighting infection and bacteria. Three mainstays (and thanks to the slave who asked in the group, as I am doing a cut and paste here, as I know I would butcher the spelling) include L. acidophilus, for the small intestine, B. bifidum for the large intestine, and L. bulgaricus for general health and promotion of healthy bacterial growth.
A toilet slave will receive things that its owner cannot absorb from their urine. This can mean "good" things such as vitamins and "bad" things such as antibiotics or medicines she may be using. While vitamins are good in theory, some have side effects and can be dangerous in large doses. The toilet slave's supplement regimen should be compared to its owners and adjusted accordingly. Urine with excess vitamins can look florescent green or yellow and the body releases the vitamins in urine a few hours after taking them. If urine is being consumed and a slave is on a supplement regimen, it may be best just to avoid consumption during those periods. Common sense should be used when it comes to medicines as well.
Any slaves who are kept locked away for long periods or are kept in the house at all times should be given good amounts of vitamin D, preferably with calcium. Generally, multivitamins are low in vitamin D because it is found naturally in sunlight. But vitamin D is otherwise very hard to get and the body does not make it, though it needs it.
For anyone taking a supplement regimen, please pay careful attention to what you are taking and how much. Know at the recommended daily values of whatever vitamins you take and don’t exceed that without speaking to a doctor. Be aware that you can overdose on vitamins and supplements and they can cause health problems if you do. Some supplements may interfere with medicines and/or have side effects.
For supplements, I highly recommend the Swanson brand and company. They have a very good site and mail-order catalog and often do "buy-one-get-one-free" promotions on a wide variety of supplements. I receive emailed promotions from them on a regular basis and buy in bulk when they are BOGO. For the penny-pinching Mistress, vitamins can be bought from local “dollar stores” (like the Dollar Tree) or you can generally get heavily discounted vitamins that are close to their expiration dates or have just expired from GNC, the Vitamin Shoppe, and sometimes grocery stores. Vitamins lose their value over time, not all at once, so they can still be used past the expiration date. Ask your vitamin store employee for a general guideline on how much one should take for equivalent nutritional value over time, and you’ll learn that you can use them for years beyond the listed dates.
This is an old question, asked by a former member of the yahoo group when it was still up and running. I have been asked variations of this question a lot, however, and I think the topic deserves its own post. I have a lot of information to share on the topic, so I decided to break it into parts and I will likely edit them along the way. I have to add the disclaimer that I am not a nutritionist, nor am I medical doctor. My advice is simply my opinion.
A. A slave's diet should be nutrition-based. Everything should start with a good supplement or mix of supplements that help provide the slave the nutritional support it needs, especially the essential vitamins and minerals that the body does not make. Of course, the slave’s Owner should be taking supplements as well for the same reasons (but more on that in another post, perhaps). The supplement regimen should be based on its service and lifestyle as well.
For example, a toilet slave needs a healthy mix of digestive aids and good bacteria while having good immune system support, as does a garbage disposal/trashcan slave. The nature of eating waste, no matter what form it takes, is such that the body will fight against it. Though digestive aids and bacterial supplements will only go so far, and perhaps illness every now and again is unavoidable, it just makes sense to give the body some help fighting infection and bacteria. Three mainstays (and thanks to the slave who asked in the group, as I am doing a cut and paste here, as I know I would butcher the spelling) include L. acidophilus, for the small intestine, B. bifidum for the large intestine, and L. bulgaricus for general health and promotion of healthy bacterial growth.
A toilet slave will receive things that its owner cannot absorb from their urine. This can mean "good" things such as vitamins and "bad" things such as antibiotics or medicines she may be using. While vitamins are good in theory, some have side effects and can be dangerous in large doses. The toilet slave's supplement regimen should be compared to its owners and adjusted accordingly. Urine with excess vitamins can look florescent green or yellow and the body releases the vitamins in urine a few hours after taking them. If urine is being consumed and a slave is on a supplement regimen, it may be best just to avoid consumption during those periods. Common sense should be used when it comes to medicines as well.
Any slaves who are kept locked away for long periods or are kept in the house at all times should be given good amounts of vitamin D, preferably with calcium. Generally, multivitamins are low in vitamin D because it is found naturally in sunlight. But vitamin D is otherwise very hard to get and the body does not make it, though it needs it.
For anyone taking a supplement regimen, please pay careful attention to what you are taking and how much. Know at the recommended daily values of whatever vitamins you take and don’t exceed that without speaking to a doctor. Be aware that you can overdose on vitamins and supplements and they can cause health problems if you do. Some supplements may interfere with medicines and/or have side effects.
For supplements, I highly recommend the Swanson brand and company. They have a very good site and mail-order catalog and often do "buy-one-get-one-free" promotions on a wide variety of supplements. I receive emailed promotions from them on a regular basis and buy in bulk when they are BOGO. For the penny-pinching Mistress, vitamins can be bought from local “dollar stores” (like the Dollar Tree) or you can generally get heavily discounted vitamins that are close to their expiration dates or have just expired from GNC, the Vitamin Shoppe, and sometimes grocery stores. Vitamins lose their value over time, not all at once, so they can still be used past the expiration date. Ask your vitamin store employee for a general guideline on how much one should take for equivalent nutritional value over time, and you’ll learn that you can use them for years beyond the listed dates.
April Flew By!
Ugh, it's happened again. I scheduled a post for Saturday at noon, but it didn't go through. I never understand why that happens. I will publish it today without scheduling but I wanted to chat about a few things now.
As I said a couple of weeks ago, I have been doing a lot lately. In May, I should be less busy, at least for a month or so, and I will be able to dedicate more time to the site (which is coming along nicely but has headed in a totally different direction somehow, and I have been trying to bring it back to my original vision) and all of the other ventures I spoke about.
I've been getting a good bit of response about the yahoo group, though I am still not accepting new members. I have been considering taking the group offline completely and bringing the group to my site, just to be able to keep things organized on my end and to be able to control more of the look of it. I've been playing around with some software for that purpose, but we'll see. For now, if you have interest in the group you may apply for membership. Though you can't be a member, you will have the option to be put on the mailing list for perspective members when I either reopen the group or open the comparable group on the site.
I have a concept for next month's blog posts that I think I will enjoy writing and over the next few days will add my last Q&As for April, as I haven't had time to type responses to this point but I want to get them in before the end of the month.
And that's it at the moment. I just bought two new sets of sounds, and after I give them a test drive I will likely do a review on them and pass along the seller information if they're any good, as I really liked the price.
As I said a couple of weeks ago, I have been doing a lot lately. In May, I should be less busy, at least for a month or so, and I will be able to dedicate more time to the site (which is coming along nicely but has headed in a totally different direction somehow, and I have been trying to bring it back to my original vision) and all of the other ventures I spoke about.
I've been getting a good bit of response about the yahoo group, though I am still not accepting new members. I have been considering taking the group offline completely and bringing the group to my site, just to be able to keep things organized on my end and to be able to control more of the look of it. I've been playing around with some software for that purpose, but we'll see. For now, if you have interest in the group you may apply for membership. Though you can't be a member, you will have the option to be put on the mailing list for perspective members when I either reopen the group or open the comparable group on the site.
I have a concept for next month's blog posts that I think I will enjoy writing and over the next few days will add my last Q&As for April, as I haven't had time to type responses to this point but I want to get them in before the end of the month.
And that's it at the moment. I just bought two new sets of sounds, and after I give them a test drive I will likely do a review on them and pass along the seller information if they're any good, as I really liked the price.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Chastity Woes
***I'm sure there are more typos than usual, but I am too tired to care.***
A few weeks ago I posted an entry about chastity devices in which I talked about a several weeks old, at that point, hunt for a cb3000. As I said then, my slave and I settled for the cb2000, which I liked enough to decide to keep it, instead of buying the cage for the 3000 separately, as I initially intended. I found that I liked the bars on the cage of the 2000 (a leash could be attached, for example) and I appreciated the access it gave, as opposed to holes, for cleaning and such. I also liked the pink color and it fit well; snug enough for it to be quite a treat when my slave had an erection, which happens several times per day. As he could pull himself out of the device, we also had the “points of intrigue,” which added to my satisfaction – and, eventually, his.
But damned if it hasn’t already broken. It’s probably been roughly two months since it was purchased and one day last week the cage broke. My slave was actually in the middle of telling me how much he loved to worship a certain part of my body and *crack* “Mistress, my chastity device broke.” Now, at first I thought it was a joke about how much he enjoyed worshipping, but I quickly saw what he meant. The cage had broken into several parts.
Perhaps I should add that my little slave liked to tug and push on his chastity when he was very hard, in order to feel the points dig deeper. But that should not have been enough to break it. What’s more, one of the rings (that go to the base of the penis) had cracked a week before but the device was still useable.
Once I stopped laughing at the whole situation, I came up with the solution of using another of the rings (a size smaller, as they give you a few ring options) and the rest of the device, without the cage. Essentially, my slave’s penis is out but the lock is still on and the points of intrigue are still doing their job, along with the gentle stretch the base ring gives to the balls. My slave has said that the points dig even deeper now, inexplicably, which was an unexpected treat.
However, this is only a short-term solution, and the hunt has been on for a new, metal device. At first I was sold on the Kali’s Teeth device, being that the PoI feature has been great with the cb2000 (my slave wanted the “beginner” model – how cute). Then I felt like it wasn’t enough. Because, no matter what it feels like for the wearer, visually, it’s just a little ring when I’m used to having some bulk and heft, really. I looked around a bit and found the neatest little device, the CockTrap.
Now, my slave is just being introduced to sounding but I have always had a deep love of urethral stretching, ever since I accidentally stuck my pinky nail in someone’s many years ago (cried like a baby, he did). The cocktrap’s best, and most useful, feature is a urethral wand that one can urinate through. It is curved, however, so erection is prevented. And, as an accessory one can buy a screw in order to plug the hole in the urethral wand to block urine. Other than that it is a simple locking device with a ring for the balls/base of the penis, and completely open, with just the tubes/ring/lock. Very visually appealing, without even seeing it on anyone. Just smooth lines and a pretty lock. From the pictures it appears to be gold-colored or bronze-ish in color, though it is metal (stainless steel?).
A really simple, beautiful, and novel little device… but, it was $250! The screw was another $30. Now, I can understand the free market idea of something being worth whatever someone will pay, but $300! Also, it doesn’t appear to have a return policy, but rather a $10 readjustment fee, as the device is custom made per buyer. But I just can’t imagine spending that kind of money on a slave’s penis, especially in a recession, even if we are getting out of it.
As he should be, the slave is excited to get it, with the intention of “saving up” for it, but I doubt I will let him. I can think of other things to buy. At current, my slave is in his broken chastity with a pair of his Mistress’ panties on asleep on the couch, and I am going through sites trying to find a better option. There are some DIY Kali’s Teeth instructions on a few sites, but I don’t think my slave is that advanced, and he has another DIY project going at the moment which I am much more excited about (and I may talk about that one at some point, but probably not). Times like now I need a welder/steelworker/hands on sub or slave, because it does look rather easy to assemble.
It makes me wonder sometimes if the whole “mainstream” thing isn’t for the best, at least as far as prices are concerned…
Okay, I have been up for over 24 hours now and I’m tired as hell (it’s actually 7:00am, even though I will schedule it to post at noon). This was my rant of the week and if anyone has the Cocktrap, has used it, or knows someone who does/has, let me know as I’m interested to hear if the consensus is that it is worth the $250-280. I wanted to add a picture of the slave in his broken chastity but I’m not sure if that’s allowed here (it’s pretty much all dick n’ balls) so I’ll wait. I may upload a picture of the Cocktrap off the site at a later date so people can see what I am talking about, but I found it here.
Gird your loins.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Q: New Pro-Domme Basics
I didn't even know any Dommes read the blog, so I was rather surprised, but definitely pleased, to get a question from one.
Q: I am just starting out as a pro-Domme. What things do you consider “must haves” for me?
A: First, I have to assume that if you don’t have clients already lined up, you know that you can/will have them. This isn’t a matter of how “good” you think you are, but your geographic area, its populace, and its economic situation. If you are living in a rural area, for example, unless your area has a cache of wealthy people, you may want to consider being a traveling Domme or having your customers travel to you – which will likely mean you will have less clients but charge more and you will need to cater to a certain crowd.
If you have already figured that part out, the first “must have” is a dedicated training place for your subs. This doesn’t mean an area in your home or a separate apartment. It could be a seedy but safe motel or, if you’re a traveling Domme, a chain of hotels that you like and know the layout of well. You could also rent a room from someone or, while I don’t recommend it, get a storage unit for the purpose. A dedicated place or type of place allows you to feel a bit more secure and empowered. It gives you a bit of an edge too, and as you’re in your element, allows you to relax and enjoy your work.
It is also extremely important that you have your own “real” and high-quality training tools. While you may be able to require that subs bring their own equipment, you do want repeat customers and to be remunerated well for your time, and this means carrying your own equipment. As a bare minimum, you should have some bondage gear (real, locking, metal handcuffs and ankle cuffs and/or locking arm and leg restraints are a good start), some corporal gear (a well-made leather or rubber crop, made for horse/pig use and a bamboo or rattan cane will suffice), locking ball gags, and some CBT devices (ball stretchers, urethral sounds, or ball busters) are a good start. Things like candles, leashes, and blindfolds can be bought inexpensively elsewhere. Whatever niche, if any, you provide, also make sure you have well-made and good-quality gear for that. It is better to spend more money on a few basic things than buy a lot of cheaply made or “beginner” style equipment that will be essentially useless. Also make sure you have good disinfectants and cleaners for whatever things you reuse that touch mucus membranes or intimate areas.
Finally, let someone you trust in on your whereabouts and schedule. This is really important. It can be as simple as just giving someone the name and telephone number of your sub while also knowing where you will be and when, doing that plus having a system in place in order to ensure your safety (perhaps a specific thing you will say in a text or something to that effect), or you may opt to have a bodyguard-type escort you to your meeting place(s) and either be there discretely or in the room for the duration.
Either way, be safe, enjoy yourself, and the best of luck to you.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
All about Emme P1
When people send me messages I tend to put some to the side with the "I'll get back to him/her" approach and I do forget now and again. I tend to do this with personal questions most often because I am always trying to address "more important" questions about a submissive's path to slavery.
Since April is Q&A month, I figured I would kick it off with personal questions. I am asked all sorts of odd personal questions, but the basic ones are the ones that I get tired of answering after a while, simply because it's monotonous. So, here are a few "Emme Essentials," if you are interested:
1. Is "Emme" your real name and how is it pronounced?
A. No, my name is not "Emme." Emme is pronounced "M" and is the first letter of my first name. I love the letter "M" and once read an insightful essay about words and names that start with it and their importance. Think "Mistress," "Madonna," "Mary," "Mother," and so forth. "Emme" embodies all of those things, in my opinion.
2. How old are you and what is your zodiac sign?
A. I am 27 and a Leo, though I'm not into zodiac signs. They are fun to read, but anyone who knows me knows I am not flashy, nor loud, or gaudy as any description of a Leo suggests.
3. Do you currently own slaves? If so, are they computer-based or real-time?
A. Yes. At the moment I just own one, but I am looking, with no real urgency, for his slave-brother. I am incredibly picky, however, and he is recently acquired. I chose him as opposed to him pursuing me and he left me early on but returned within a day. Now he is my real-time slave, is collared, in chastity, and limitless.
4. Are you religious?
A. Yes, in that I am a believer in Black Female Supremacy and I do believe in and "practice" it.
5. Did you go to college and if so what did you study?
A. Yes - psychology, sociology, and human resource management
And that's it for now. These are pretty simple ones and I don't answer questions I consider too personal anyway. If you have a question about me or anything else on-topic, you may email me at questions@goddessemme.com.
Since April is Q&A month, I figured I would kick it off with personal questions. I am asked all sorts of odd personal questions, but the basic ones are the ones that I get tired of answering after a while, simply because it's monotonous. So, here are a few "Emme Essentials," if you are interested:
1. Is "Emme" your real name and how is it pronounced?
A. No, my name is not "Emme." Emme is pronounced "M" and is the first letter of my first name. I love the letter "M" and once read an insightful essay about words and names that start with it and their importance. Think "Mistress," "Madonna," "Mary," "Mother," and so forth. "Emme" embodies all of those things, in my opinion.
2. How old are you and what is your zodiac sign?
A. I am 27 and a Leo, though I'm not into zodiac signs. They are fun to read, but anyone who knows me knows I am not flashy, nor loud, or gaudy as any description of a Leo suggests.
3. Do you currently own slaves? If so, are they computer-based or real-time?
A. Yes. At the moment I just own one, but I am looking, with no real urgency, for his slave-brother. I am incredibly picky, however, and he is recently acquired. I chose him as opposed to him pursuing me and he left me early on but returned within a day. Now he is my real-time slave, is collared, in chastity, and limitless.
4. Are you religious?
A. Yes, in that I am a believer in Black Female Supremacy and I do believe in and "practice" it.
5. Did you go to college and if so what did you study?
A. Yes - psychology, sociology, and human resource management
And that's it for now. These are pretty simple ones and I don't answer questions I consider too personal anyway. If you have a question about me or anything else on-topic, you may email me at questions@goddessemme.com.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Qs in April
I am excited about April! For no real reason except I am looking forward to warmth and seasonal things, like the change in my diet (to cold foods) and breaking out dresses and sandals. I am also going to be less busy this month than I was in March and I am looking forward to focusing on the blog, getting the site up to standards, and maybe even actually airing a radio show episode. Of course, I may not get the last two done, but it is good to have goals (smile).
I have to thank you guys for keeping me focused on the blog, and it will certainly continue, even if I miss a post here and there. Sometimes I do get burned out because I have nothing particular on my mind, but that won't be a problem this month. Because, this month I am focusing on answering questions that I have neglected for so long. I will also be accepting new questions at questions@GoddessEmme.com, though obviously I probably won't get to all of them. I am excited about this because I have been procrastinating for so long about it and it will be a great way to give myself some time to get new topics planned and some even written.
And, since this month is all about answering questions, I figured I would answer “when is the site/radio show going to be up?” as it is one I get often. And there is a lot to look forward to.
The Website
I am really excited about what I have planned for the site, but I had to check the legality of a few things and also ensure it would not be considered a “porn site” as many rules, regulations, and fees apply. I have the greenlight on almost everything but I decided to change the design and the program I used to create the draft.
Therefore I have a bit more work to do.
But, the site will have an online store to buy things for you and to tribute me. That will be the “basic” store, but there will be the “kink” store too, which will specialize in Goddess Emme-based products (smile) and will be for my truest acolytes, not the casual reader of this blog. There are some legal gray areas still, but I am working on getting the last few clarified.
There will be a media page, which will have direct access to the radio show, some “clip 4 sale” clips (in time, as they are semi-low priority), and some various programs that I find useful. This page will also have a link to my direct-connect phone line, which is like phone sex but is different (more on that later). I may add some pictures there too, just for the hell of it.
And a forum, of course, because I love forums. It took me a while to find a forum developer that I really liked and had enough options that I felt were necessary while being free, and I finally found one. It seems pretty good and will allow unique names, passwords, and some control on the admin side for content.
I’m considering giving my slave a blog on the site too. I know he needs some
writing-based service and I think he often feels very cloistered, and he is, underneath me and a community to take part in and blog/diary would be good for him.
Then a punishments page for everyone to make fun of those who need the humiliation after disappointing me; I will enjoy that. Also a page with applications for my professional services, real enslavement, and a few other things. Plus a few basic pages and two surprise pages that I won’t get into now. It should be good though, and whenever it is finished you are all expected to visit and such.
The Radio Show
Initially I had a “sidekick” who I dismissed after he annoyed me one too many times. Since then I have been sort of bored with the concept. I kept getting suggestions about having a “contest” but no one could tell me what on earth the contest was to be about. They just knew I should give away something (used panties came up a lot). While I don’t have any outright objections to the prize, I do need a topic for the contest, but we’ll see.
I really like the idea of an advice line sort of thing, but it will take quite a while to get enough people to make that viable. Of course, the topics would have to be on the topics of BFS and D/s. It will definitely be a call-in though. And maybe I’ll quiz a few callers who claim to be acolytes and see if they know their stuff, and give prizes if they do.
The Direct Line
Take the idea of “phone sex” take out the “sex,” and add “worship,” throw in some BDSM and a heavy dose of BFS and there you have it. Actually, the phone line will serve a variety of purposes. The first will be yet another way to tribute that is simple and effective, the second is for slaves and subs who want to speak to me directly (for a fee), and the third will be for those who want a dose of kink, by listening to real sessions, either existing ones or something they are interested in. It will be voyeuristic as I will not be speaking to them (though I will be on the phone) but they can put themselves in the position of my slave or whatever sub I am training. These sessions will likely be video recorded and available through the clips for sale area for after-phone pleasure.
The session work will be arranged in advance and paid for (through an existing service and site) before the actual sessions. The same is true for tributes. For subs who just want to talk, however, they will be able to almost 24/7 but at varying charges depending upon the time of day. This will be a per-minute fee and they will know what it costs prior to actually beginning the call, though a price schedule will also be scheduled somewhere. I will also be able to give people free minutes as I see fit and charge whatever I want per sub, which will be great for punishments.
This is separate from the call-in number for the radio show, as the radio show uses regular telephones with no fees, except any toll charges for those outside of the New York (I think, I have to recheck) calling area. Call from your cell.
The Book
I really want to write about something, I just don’t know what. I want to do some essays, D/s “self help,” and even fiction perhaps. It may not come to fruition, but I will simply self-publish if I do. Of course, anything I do will be made available on the website.
And a Few Other Things
I have a few ideas I am developing with others and a couple I am looking into on my own. We shall see what happens, but it’s good and you’ll like it!
That’s it!
It’s a lot, and most of it is profit-based. Though the website will be free, of course, it will hopefully encourage people to buy something from either tier. The radio show is free as well, but it has a tiny bit of profit potential through ad space. Everything else I discussed will cost you. The blog will always be free, however, as will the yahoo group (when it is re-launched).
Of course, we’ll see how much I commit to anyway. The great thing about this blog is that it’s something I can do at my leisure. I hate that the radio show locks me in at a certain time. It could all be wishful thinking as I am a spoiled, impatient Domme, but we shall see.
I have to thank you guys for keeping me focused on the blog, and it will certainly continue, even if I miss a post here and there. Sometimes I do get burned out because I have nothing particular on my mind, but that won't be a problem this month. Because, this month I am focusing on answering questions that I have neglected for so long. I will also be accepting new questions at questions@GoddessEmme.com, though obviously I probably won't get to all of them. I am excited about this because I have been procrastinating for so long about it and it will be a great way to give myself some time to get new topics planned and some even written.
And, since this month is all about answering questions, I figured I would answer “when is the site/radio show going to be up?” as it is one I get often. And there is a lot to look forward to.
The Website
I am really excited about what I have planned for the site, but I had to check the legality of a few things and also ensure it would not be considered a “porn site” as many rules, regulations, and fees apply. I have the greenlight on almost everything but I decided to change the design and the program I used to create the draft.
Therefore I have a bit more work to do.
But, the site will have an online store to buy things for you and to tribute me. That will be the “basic” store, but there will be the “kink” store too, which will specialize in Goddess Emme-based products (smile) and will be for my truest acolytes, not the casual reader of this blog. There are some legal gray areas still, but I am working on getting the last few clarified.
There will be a media page, which will have direct access to the radio show, some “clip 4 sale” clips (in time, as they are semi-low priority), and some various programs that I find useful. This page will also have a link to my direct-connect phone line, which is like phone sex but is different (more on that later). I may add some pictures there too, just for the hell of it.
And a forum, of course, because I love forums. It took me a while to find a forum developer that I really liked and had enough options that I felt were necessary while being free, and I finally found one. It seems pretty good and will allow unique names, passwords, and some control on the admin side for content.
I’m considering giving my slave a blog on the site too. I know he needs some
writing-based service and I think he often feels very cloistered, and he is, underneath me and a community to take part in and blog/diary would be good for him.
Then a punishments page for everyone to make fun of those who need the humiliation after disappointing me; I will enjoy that. Also a page with applications for my professional services, real enslavement, and a few other things. Plus a few basic pages and two surprise pages that I won’t get into now. It should be good though, and whenever it is finished you are all expected to visit and such.
The Radio Show
Initially I had a “sidekick” who I dismissed after he annoyed me one too many times. Since then I have been sort of bored with the concept. I kept getting suggestions about having a “contest” but no one could tell me what on earth the contest was to be about. They just knew I should give away something (used panties came up a lot). While I don’t have any outright objections to the prize, I do need a topic for the contest, but we’ll see.
I really like the idea of an advice line sort of thing, but it will take quite a while to get enough people to make that viable. Of course, the topics would have to be on the topics of BFS and D/s. It will definitely be a call-in though. And maybe I’ll quiz a few callers who claim to be acolytes and see if they know their stuff, and give prizes if they do.
The Direct Line
Take the idea of “phone sex” take out the “sex,” and add “worship,” throw in some BDSM and a heavy dose of BFS and there you have it. Actually, the phone line will serve a variety of purposes. The first will be yet another way to tribute that is simple and effective, the second is for slaves and subs who want to speak to me directly (for a fee), and the third will be for those who want a dose of kink, by listening to real sessions, either existing ones or something they are interested in. It will be voyeuristic as I will not be speaking to them (though I will be on the phone) but they can put themselves in the position of my slave or whatever sub I am training. These sessions will likely be video recorded and available through the clips for sale area for after-phone pleasure.
The session work will be arranged in advance and paid for (through an existing service and site) before the actual sessions. The same is true for tributes. For subs who just want to talk, however, they will be able to almost 24/7 but at varying charges depending upon the time of day. This will be a per-minute fee and they will know what it costs prior to actually beginning the call, though a price schedule will also be scheduled somewhere. I will also be able to give people free minutes as I see fit and charge whatever I want per sub, which will be great for punishments.
This is separate from the call-in number for the radio show, as the radio show uses regular telephones with no fees, except any toll charges for those outside of the New York (I think, I have to recheck) calling area. Call from your cell.
The Book
I really want to write about something, I just don’t know what. I want to do some essays, D/s “self help,” and even fiction perhaps. It may not come to fruition, but I will simply self-publish if I do. Of course, anything I do will be made available on the website.
And a Few Other Things
I have a few ideas I am developing with others and a couple I am looking into on my own. We shall see what happens, but it’s good and you’ll like it!
That’s it!
It’s a lot, and most of it is profit-based. Though the website will be free, of course, it will hopefully encourage people to buy something from either tier. The radio show is free as well, but it has a tiny bit of profit potential through ad space. Everything else I discussed will cost you. The blog will always be free, however, as will the yahoo group (when it is re-launched).
Of course, we’ll see how much I commit to anyway. The great thing about this blog is that it’s something I can do at my leisure. I hate that the radio show locks me in at a certain time. It could all be wishful thinking as I am a spoiled, impatient Domme, but we shall see.
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