Slowly, Surely

I return. It has been a hectic two months, and I must admit I didn't much think about anything but what was before me. I am (with the slave, of course) about 90% settled in the new abode and feeling ready to commit once again to the web-based portion of my life. I did actually write a few posts, but due to the death of my other laptop--and unfortunately, that hard drive is really dead--and over a month of indecision about internet service, I could never post anything, and now they seem dated.

I'm in a strange sort of place mentally. This summer has been a never-ending rush to get things done and as a result I'm looking up and realizing so much time has passed and so many things aren't quite as they were. I made the mistake of stepping on a scale yesterday, and...sheesh, never mind.

So, I am attempting to pull things together slowly yet surely. My big butt will again get nice and tight the way I like it, my time will be better-managed, and my attention will be were it wants and needs to be. It sounds like a plan.

As a sidenote, the slave is doing as well as can be expected. Lots of changes in his little life, but he bears up well under most pressures.

How are all of the little slaves and slaves-in-waiting? Anyone found a new home, a new Owner, or had any revelations of anything of import?

Early in the morning (In the middle of the night)...

It’s almost 3:30am and I am lying in bed, worrying. At my feet my little slave pup is sleeping soundly, curled around my feet, and snoring every now and again. For him, the night ended after oral service and expression of devotion, and he is dreaming little slave-dreams and preparing for his tomorrow, in the literal and figurative sense.

For me, it is much more difficult than all that. In less than two weeks, he leaves his home and starts a new job in another state. This represents a major step in his enslavement, and though he will miss the life he lived here, he is excited at what is ahead. I worry that the transition may not be as smooth as it has to be. I worry that this temporary position he starts in two weeks may not segue into another position soon enough and there will be a gap in his income. This worries me because my money is drying up and this major step he will soon be taking is one in which I no longer stand behind him with an open wallet, “just in case.” He becomes a full slave, and the only source of my income, if only temporarily, in a few week’s time.


Two weeks. Before I know it the day will come to say goodbye to this place and move on. Today my little slave confided that he is a bit scared and he will miss this house, the one he’s lived in for six years. Yet, he knows he has someone to slave for; a higher purpose. In fact, he got the very first job he interviewed for and the job he wanted, the job he begged to be allowed to apply to back when I first made the decision that he was coming to me. During his devotional, he expressed, as he has before, that he is happier than he has ever been. I am happy for him, but afraid.

This month I said I would write about duality. For a Domme, nights like these can weigh heavy. You groom a slave to follow as blindly as you desire it to but you understand that you offer to never lead them astray, though you may never say it. Ultimately, I am the “brains” behind this operation, though the snoring slave at my feet, who is about to get kicked in the nuts, does the work. That is the opposite side of the coin for a Domme and it is yang for the yin of dedicated service. The fulfillment for a slave is letting go of its own desires and working towards its owner’s, while giving up the privilege of selfishness. Yet, they give up the burden of complete responsibility too, and that burden is transferred to its owner.

Obviously, I don’t take it lightly and I mostly confident in our future. After his two months of temporary employment I know he will work hard to find something and work as many jobs as I require him to. When the sun rises, so will my general sense of knowing what’s best and I will make the decisions that need to be made and my slave will say “yes ma’am” and act upon them. Tomorrow I will be a Mistress. It’s late, I’m tired, and my period isn’t helping anything. I will think clearly tomorrow. But, tonight I worry.

I appreciate the slave at my feet and the life I have planned for him. I just wish he had more money.

Duality in June

For me May was almost everything I wanted it to be. I got nothing really done about the site or anything of the sort, but I ate too much, came too much, slept too much, traveled too much, and enjoyed myself a lot. On the negative side, I was lax with the slave because I was so focused on me, and it showed through some of him behaviors and the punishments he received (and, to be frank, some of the punishments he didn’t receive but should have). It was a lazy month, and I am glad I had it, because it looks like June will be busy.

Looking back at my music posts I see three posts that I scheduled never went through. I am backdating two of them and saving the third for later, as I want to review the song a bit more than I initially did, as it is actually two renditions of the same song. That will be the theme for this month, the month of duality, in honor of my Mother who is a Gemini.

So, this month I will be writing about things with dual themes. Aside from that music post I also plan to post a review for some D/s stuff from my perspective and my slave’s perspective, as I think that would be useful for my little slave-readers, and a couple more. I also intend to focus on quality more than quantity, as I sometimes rush myself to post something that I’m not entirely happy with. This month I only expect to write three original posts for the blog for my four posts of the month, which will allow me some time to hopefully edit some drafts to my satisfaction, which may be added as bonuses.

On the topic of drafts, I am currently typing on my backup travel computer, my mini-notebook, as my usual laptop suffered a virus last month and is stuck on the BSoD. I don’t have access to old files right now, as my backups are at my “other” house on my desktop, in another state. Everything I was working on came screeching to a halt as a result, but I didn’t feel like going through the headache of fixing it, as I was enjoying my laziness. I plan on fixing the laptop this week, however. I may also be settled (finally) in another state, as my slave may have gotten a job he recently interviewed for, which will certainly be a great thing, while also making June a month with a lot going on in my life, so, fair warning.

In May, on Memorial Day, as I always I thought of all the “soldiers” we’ve lost who fought many of the battles that needed to be fought. I am and believe in many things, and therefore I had a lot to think about and a lot of lives to appreciate. As always, Malcolm X is one person whose life I think of constantly in May, and particularly on Memorial Day, as his birthday was May 19. I have been thinking I may add a post about him this month, as the man who assassinated him was recently released after serving a 44 year sentence. It’s an interesting topic, and I may or may not be ready to write about it emotionally.

Memorial Day is a great “holiday,” in my opinion, as it has its wider meaning of “in memoriam” and how it is celebrated, particularly the grilling, reminds me of sending burnt offers to ancient Gods and Goddesses. I consider my personal ones during that time, and my slave sent up burnt offerings of his own to me by way of the grill and some overcooked chicken he was so excited to prepare, without recognizing his own limitations with the grill…But, I appreciated the gesture nonetheless.

Music & Female Supremacy: Closer

This is a pop song, and it is much more recent, from about 2008. The singer is also a songwriter and has written a lot of songs for today’s female pop singers, which are considered “women’s anthems.” I find this interesting because a lot of these songs are progressive and tout female supremacy and are written by a man. This song is one of those he wrote and chose to keep for himself, which is telling. Take away the pop music and flair and I find the lyrics to be almost exactly what a male submissive would say. How enticing. I ask that you read the lyrics and then listen to the song, which is here.

*Because of all of the repetition, found in almost all of today’s pop music, I have amended the lyric here (and because one of the lyrics is misquoted).*

Verse 1:
Turn the lights up in this place
And she shines just like a star
And I swear I know her face
I just don’t know who you are
Turn the music up in here
I still hear her loud and clear
Like she’s right there in my ear
Telling me
She wants to own me
To control me
Come closer
Come closer

Chorus:
And I just can’t pull myself away
From the respect I can make
I just cant stop
I just cant stop
I just cant stop
I just cant stop
And I just can’t bring myself away
But I don’t want to escape
I just can’t stop
I just can’t stop
I just can’t stop
I just can’t stop
I just can’t stop

Verse 2:
I can feel her on my skin
I can taste her on my tongue
Shes the sweetest taste Ive seen
(This is wrong, the lyric is actually “She’s the sweetest taste of sin”)
The more I get the more I want
She wants to own me
Come closer
She says "come closer"

Music & Female Supremacy: Use Me

This is sort of a submissive’s anthem, in my opinion, and is one of my favorite Withers’ song, due to its catchy tune and is lazy way of singing it. I don’t need to add much of a description of this one, as it couldn’t be more clear by its lyrics. I will say that what makes this song special, more special than many of the sort of “How do I love thee” songs, is that Bill makes no pretense to altruism, admitting, gleefully as he does at song’s end, that he is using his love interest in his own selfish way, as much as she is using him. He thumbs his nose at all naysayers as well, knowing that they can’t appreciate the situations he is in. I have attached both the lyrics and a youtube linked version of the song, which you can listen to here.

My friends feel it's their appointed duty
They keep trying to tell me
All you want to do is use me
Ha, ha, but my answer, ha, ha
Yeah, to all that use me stuff
Is I wanna spread the news
That if it feels this good getting used
Oh, you just keep on using me
Until you use me up

Until you use me up

My brother, sit me right down
And he talked to me, ah-ha
He told me, ah-ha
That I ought not to let you just walk on me
And I'm sure he meant well
Yeah, but when our talk was through
I-I-I said brother, if you only knew
You'd wish that you were in my shoes
You just keep on using me
Until you use me up

Until you use me up

Oh sometimes, it's true you really do abuse me
You get in a crowd of high class people
And then you act real rude to me
But oh baby, baby, baby, baby
When you love me I can't get enough
I-I and I, wanna spread the news
That if it feels this good getting used
Oh, you just keep on using me
Until you use me up

Until you use me up

Talking about you using me
But it all depends on what you do
It ain't too bad the way you're using me
'Cause I sure am using you
To do the things you do
Ah-ha, to do the things you do

Lyircs from: http://www.seeklyrics.com/lyrics/Bill-Withers/Use-Me.html

Fear

Today I took some time to read old messages and received one from a reader and slave-to-be who spoke of how he has yet been unable to give in to the fear that keeps him from fully serving. In my short response I simply said that fear is the basis of the D/s dynamic and certainly the D/s relationship. After sending my note I thought of how true that statement is.

Fear works on both sides. There is perhaps nothing sweeter than a slave cowering in fear after a beating has begun; unrestrained, able to get away if the spirit so moved him, but still standing, kneeling, or laying in submission and divine acceptance of his fate. This is incredible arousing to a Mistress like me, but also, on a deeper level, more satisfying than anything sexual could ever be. Why? Because we can appreciate what it takes to accept punishment and fall into fear in such a submissive way.

But fear is not only punishment-based. Part of what drives a submissive, and certainly a slave, is having a dominant person take responsibility for them on whatever level. As the level of responsibility increases as does the submission and too, the fear. The fear, therefore, is increasingly prevalent and increasingly endured, accepted, desired, and enjoyed. That fear serves to keep the slave in place in more ways that one in that way.

For the Domme, the fear is there too, though perhaps more subtle in nature. The D/s dynamic is symbiotic, after all, with each side giving and taking in essentially equal measure. One side of the Domme’s fear is perhaps more understandable to the “vanilla” crowd, and that is simply the basic fear of an ended relationship, though in the D/s dynamic it is a much more hearty emotion, considering the relationship is deeper and involves more, in my extremely biased opinion, than a long-term “vanilla” relationship. As the relationship endures, more is expected of the slave and the Domme has more to lose should the slave ever leave. Of course, this is unlikely, as it should be harder and harder for the slave to leave as its enslavement develops. Yet, the fear is somewhere there, buried down deep.

As such, fear is everywhere in the D/s relationship, slipping in and out of corners and into crevices. The fear is not a negative thing, however, and truly should be considered a wholesome and appreciated quality in the dynamic. The next time you feel fear, dear readers, embrace it, enjoy it, and welcome it. Get to know it, be satisfied in it, and let it grow….you will find that you will grow in the most delightful ways. Whatever you do, don’t turn away from it, as you will lose the essence of yourself and your life goal of full enslavement.

Religions are based on both fear and worship; you cannot worship without fear.

****Busier than I thought I would be, but it is a delicious sort of busy and I have enjoyed it…More later***

Emme & Music in May

This month I will be focusing the blog on music, as it is one of my favorite topics. Specifically I will be discussing Female Supremacist and D/s themes in music. Each week I will review and discuss one of my favorite songs with deep D/s meaning, as I see it. It will also give me a chance to discuss some notable “mainstream” singers and songwriters whose lives and/or lyrics suggest another side, as well as their wider cultures. I also plan to add some more “rant of the weeks” and I have at least two reviews I want to do this month.

The website will be unveiled this month (more on that this week) and I am almost completely sure I will have the slave begin his own blog. I am still deciding on the future of the yahoo group and leaning towards transferring that idea to my website. If you are interested in making the transition should I make it, you may “join” the yahoo group so you are put on the contacts list. Should the group move to the site, it is important that I have the right email address for those who are interested, as membership will be as limited as membership was to the group itself.

Also in May I will be slowing down in other areas in my life and I hope to be able to concentrate more on “ME” in May, which includes all of my lifestyle activities, such as the website, blogs, and, yes, even the radio show. The demands of the past few months have been overwhelming to a degree, but this month I am setting aside time for R&R.

Q: Punishments

This is the last question of "Q&As in April." I chose it because it felt like it was relevant enough to the sensibilities of BDSM that it could actually dispel a lot of misconception. I’ve discussed it here before (I think) but I wanted to give it a bit more attention.

Q: How should a slave be punished?

A: This is a question that every Domme and submissive has likely considered at some point. For pro-Dommes and paying subs, the answer is you can’t. The biggest actual punishment would probably be to make him a dom or make him enact whoever he is daily, which of course would be pointless and the submissive may not decide to spend his paycheck on your services the next time he wants to be used.

For the lifestyle Domme and slave, the question is an important one, and the answer is seen above; the biggest punishment for a slave is not to be allowed to serve. Now, obviously, on one hand whatever the slave does or has done is a matter of service because it is in service by the nature of it being punished in the first place. The slave knows it is owned and a Mistress should never play games about giving the slave away or disowning it, as it breeds the wrong kinds of emotions in the slave and creates a slave who cannot trust its owner and is therefore not trustworthy.

First, let me clarify what I mean by “punish” as it is an important distinction. I do not mean the basic use a slave gets, that may involve physical pain and torture. I mean “discipline” when I say punish, and by that I mean what you do when your slave has broken a rule, become insolent, or otherwise acted in a way that you find unacceptable. I find all other use, essentially of any sort, to be training, as it trains a slave how to maintain its slavishness, appreciate its service, and remember its position. These are not punishments. If you cane your slave every morning or whenever the spirit moves you, this is not punishment but training for the slave and service/use from the slave. This sort of use should not be considered negative, but rather a simply reality of their enslavement.

Every slave has a reason why it became a slave in the first place. It has that special interest that led it to its enslavement and that interest is known to its Mistress even if it never confides. And that is what is manipulated for the sake of punishment. Does your slave love to be tied up? Don’t do it. Instead, have it walk up and down the street for an hour. Does your slave love the bite of the whip? Take it away. Use the whip, perhaps hitting the floor or another hard surface, to make the delicious sound that it is used to hearing with the accompanying slap, while the slave is doing its chores. Dangle it in front of its face like a carrot while it is being punished, letting it know that the privilege of its whippings have been taken away. Keep your Goddess feet away from your little foot fetishist or the strap on away from your anal whore. Get good service in all other ways while ensuring your slave is kept docile and slavish without its favorite form of service.

There are those slaves who love being used, and love service of any sort. Put those in the corner of every room you are in to hear the noises of daily activities while not being able to take part in its regularly scheduled ways. This is also useful for houseboys, sometimes, and male wives, or domestics of any sort.

There are some basic rules to follow when punishing slaves of any sort. First, don’t humiliate them, call them names, or anything of the sort when they are being punished. Every slave likes humiliation. Instead, express your dissatisfaction in a frank and impersonal way and otherwise ignore them. Rough treatment will also likely be enjoyable, so instead of dragging them by their collar, have them walk deliberately from place to place. Be a corrections officer or warden instead of a drill sergeant. Demand the best in an unemotional tone, and let them know that you do not get anything out of punishing them; that their real use comes when you use them as you do normally, even with rough use.

All about Emme P2

Here is another of the questions I am asked some variation of pretty often. People stubbornly believe that I hate men, inexplicably.

Q: Do you hate men?

A: I am always a bit shocked by this question, as I actually love men quite a bit. I understand how some have that perception based on the lifestyle itself, but I find in jarring when someone in the lifestyle asks me such a thing. Yet, I suppose believing female supremacy and/or actual enslavement of men, as opposed to simple domination are reasons why I may be mistaken for a man-hater. I assure you, in some ways, I like men more than women.

That said, I like men who exhibit what I believe to be the natural state of manhood, which is submission. What I don’t like is patriarchal societies or world views in which men are supposed to be the “heads of households” and women are the submissive figures. These sorts of views miss the point, in my opinion, which is that men want to submit to and care for women. Physical prowess has nothing to do with the mental capacity for submission, and in fact, it makes sense that the two would be natural sides of the same coin.

Look at the animal kingdom. Lions, considered the basis for human male theories on patriarchal societies really consist of the male lion, surrounded by females who hunt and gather. Male lions do not hunt unless they have to. Match that to the concept of the human male and the similarity is not in the gendered role but in the service; which of the sexes is known as the “hunter-gatherer”?

Of course, neither cooks the meals in the lion’s pride, and women, it is classically known, are the cooks and preparers of the human family. Food preparation is a signifier of submission for us, it seems. Now – quick - name five well-known chefs. How many were male and how many were female? Rachel Ray doesn’t count – she is not a chef. Julia Child is acceptable, however. Now, if you’re a television watcher, think of the last winners of any cooking shows you’ve seen or heard of. How many were women?

Even the “emotional” concept of women isn’t validated in research, as studies have shown that women choose men methodically and by virtue of traits that will make them good caregiver-providers, while men make highly emotional decisions when choosing a mate. What women do exhibit in terms of emotion, is a wider range of emotions that they can typify, express, and identify in others. This is commonly referred to as “emotional intelligence” and is a useful tool, believe me, when it comes to monitoring and training a slave.

In short, while I don’t hate men, it bothers me to see their talents wasted and to see them in positions that deep down they know they are not capable of or even desirous of. I believe the ethnocentric ideals of the white male were born out of inferiority-feelings, and they have only negative outcomes. The only solution is a form of extremism that matches the extremism of the patriarchal fallacy, and that is simple Female Supremacy. We shouldn’t have to remind men that we are superior, but we will until it is as deep-seated as the bullshit they profess to believe now.

The males I take into slavery and/or training are males who show potential and a desire to be their true selves. It is an honor to serve a woman, not a punishment, and as such, I would never take on a slave I hated. Each man that is broken into a beautifully submissive slave becomes a beacon for man in his truest sense; a man who uses his talents for the greater good and enjoys his service and is entirely confident in his “manhood” because he knows what the word means.

Slave Nutrition Basics Part I: Supplements

Q. What should an owned slave be allowed to eat?

This is an old question, asked by a former member of the yahoo group when it was still up and running. I have been asked variations of this question a lot, however, and I think the topic deserves its own post. I have a lot of information to share on the topic, so I decided to break it into parts and I will likely edit them along the way. I have to add the disclaimer that I am not a nutritionist, nor am I medical doctor. My advice is simply my opinion.

A. A slave's diet should be nutrition-based. Everything should start with a good supplement or mix of supplements that help provide the slave the nutritional support it needs, especially the essential vitamins and minerals that the body does not make. Of course, the slave’s Owner should be taking supplements as well for the same reasons (but more on that in another post, perhaps). The supplement regimen should be based on its service and lifestyle as well.

For example, a toilet slave needs a healthy mix of digestive aids and good bacteria while having good immune system support, as does a garbage disposal/trashcan slave. The nature of eating waste, no matter what form it takes, is such that the body will fight against it. Though digestive aids and bacterial supplements will only go so far, and perhaps illness every now and again is unavoidable, it just makes sense to give the body some help fighting infection and bacteria. Three mainstays (and thanks to the slave who asked in the group, as I am doing a cut and paste here, as I know I would butcher the spelling) include L. acidophilus, for the small intestine, B. bifidum for the large intestine, and L. bulgaricus for general health and promotion of healthy bacterial growth.

A toilet slave will receive things that its owner cannot absorb from their urine. This can mean "good" things such as vitamins and "bad" things such as antibiotics or medicines she may be using. While vitamins are good in theory, some have side effects and can be dangerous in large doses. The toilet slave's supplement regimen should be compared to its owners and adjusted accordingly. Urine with excess vitamins can look florescent green or yellow and the body releases the vitamins in urine a few hours after taking them. If urine is being consumed and a slave is on a supplement regimen, it may be best just to avoid consumption during those periods. Common sense should be used when it comes to medicines as well.

Any slaves who are kept locked away for long periods or are kept in the house at all times should be given good amounts of vitamin D, preferably with calcium. Generally, multivitamins are low in vitamin D because it is found naturally in sunlight. But vitamin D is otherwise very hard to get and the body does not make it, though it needs it.

For anyone taking a supplement regimen, please pay careful attention to what you are taking and how much. Know at the recommended daily values of whatever vitamins you take and don’t exceed that without speaking to a doctor. Be aware that you can overdose on vitamins and supplements and they can cause health problems if you do. Some supplements may interfere with medicines and/or have side effects.

For supplements, I highly recommend the Swanson brand and company. They have a very good site and mail-order catalog and often do "buy-one-get-one-free" promotions on a wide variety of supplements. I receive emailed promotions from them on a regular basis and buy in bulk when they are BOGO. For the penny-pinching Mistress, vitamins can be bought from local “dollar stores” (like the Dollar Tree) or you can generally get heavily discounted vitamins that are close to their expiration dates or have just expired from GNC, the Vitamin Shoppe, and sometimes grocery stores. Vitamins lose their value over time, not all at once, so they can still be used past the expiration date. Ask your vitamin store employee for a general guideline on how much one should take for equivalent nutritional value over time, and you’ll learn that you can use them for years beyond the listed dates.

April Flew By!

Ugh, it's happened again. I scheduled a post for Saturday at noon, but it didn't go through. I never understand why that happens. I will publish it today without scheduling but I wanted to chat about a few things now.

As I said a couple of weeks ago, I have been doing a lot lately. In May, I should be less busy, at least for a month or so, and I will be able to dedicate more time to the site (which is coming along nicely but has headed in a totally different direction somehow, and I have been trying to bring it back to my original vision) and all of the other ventures I spoke about.

I've been getting a good bit of response about the yahoo group, though I am still not accepting new members. I have been considering taking the group offline completely and bringing the group to my site, just to be able to keep things organized on my end and to be able to control more of the look of it. I've been playing around with some software for that purpose, but we'll see. For now, if you have interest in the group you may apply for membership. Though you can't be a member, you will have the option to be put on the mailing list for perspective members when I either reopen the group or open the comparable group on the site.

I have a concept for next month's blog posts that I think I will enjoy writing and over the next few days will add my last Q&As for April, as I haven't had time to type responses to this point but I want to get them in before the end of the month.

And that's it at the moment. I just bought two new sets of sounds, and after I give them a test drive I will likely do a review on them and pass along the seller information if they're any good, as I really liked the price.

All about Emme P1

When people send me messages I tend to put some to the side with the "I'll get back to him/her" approach and I do forget now and again. I tend to do this with personal questions most often because I am always trying to address "more important" questions about a submissive's path to slavery.

Since April is Q&A month, I figured I would kick it off with personal questions. I am asked all sorts of odd personal questions, but the basic ones are the ones that I get tired of answering after a while, simply because it's monotonous. So, here are a few "Emme Essentials," if you are interested:

1. Is "Emme" your real name and how is it pronounced?

A. No, my name is not "Emme." Emme is pronounced "M" and is the first letter of my first name. I love the letter "M" and once read an insightful essay about words and names that start with it and their importance. Think "Mistress," "Madonna," "Mary," "Mother," and so forth. "Emme" embodies all of those things, in my opinion.

2. How old are you and what is your zodiac sign?

A. I am 27 and a Leo, though I'm not into zodiac signs. They are fun to read, but anyone who knows me knows I am not flashy, nor loud, or gaudy as any description of a Leo suggests.

3. Do you currently own slaves? If so, are they computer-based or real-time?

A. Yes. At the moment I just own one, but I am looking, with no real urgency, for his slave-brother. I am incredibly picky, however, and he is recently acquired. I chose him as opposed to him pursuing me and he left me early on but returned within a day. Now he is my real-time slave, is collared, in chastity, and limitless.

4. Are you religious?

A. Yes, in that I am a believer in Black Female Supremacy and I do believe in and "practice" it.

5. Did you go to college and if so what did you study?

A. Yes - psychology, sociology, and human resource management

And that's it for now. These are pretty simple ones and I don't answer questions I consider too personal anyway. If you have a question about me or anything else on-topic, you may email me at questions@goddessemme.com.

Qs in April

I am excited about April! For no real reason except I am looking forward to warmth and seasonal things, like the change in my diet (to cold foods) and breaking out dresses and sandals. I am also going to be less busy this month than I was in March and I am looking forward to focusing on the blog, getting the site up to standards, and maybe even actually airing a radio show episode. Of course, I may not get the last two done, but it is good to have goals (smile).

I have to thank you guys for keeping me focused on the blog, and it will certainly continue, even if I miss a post here and there. Sometimes I do get burned out because I have nothing particular on my mind, but that won't be a problem this month. Because, this month I am focusing on answering questions that I have neglected for so long. I will also be accepting new questions at questions@GoddessEmme.com, though obviously I probably won't get to all of them. I am excited about this because I have been procrastinating for so long about it and it will be a great way to give myself some time to get new topics planned and some even written.

And, since this month is all about answering questions, I figured I would answer “when is the site/radio show going to be up?” as it is one I get often. And there is a lot to look forward to.

The Website

I am really excited about what I have planned for the site, but I had to check the legality of a few things and also ensure it would not be considered a “porn site” as many rules, regulations, and fees apply. I have the greenlight on almost everything but I decided to change the design and the program I used to create the draft.
Therefore I have a bit more work to do.

But, the site will have an online store to buy things for you and to tribute me. That will be the “basic” store, but there will be the “kink” store too, which will specialize in Goddess Emme-based products (smile) and will be for my truest acolytes, not the casual reader of this blog. There are some legal gray areas still, but I am working on getting the last few clarified.

There will be a media page, which will have direct access to the radio show, some “clip 4 sale” clips (in time, as they are semi-low priority), and some various programs that I find useful. This page will also have a link to my direct-connect phone line, which is like phone sex but is different (more on that later). I may add some pictures there too, just for the hell of it.

And a forum, of course, because I love forums. It took me a while to find a forum developer that I really liked and had enough options that I felt were necessary while being free, and I finally found one. It seems pretty good and will allow unique names, passwords, and some control on the admin side for content.

I’m considering giving my slave a blog on the site too. I know he needs some
writing-based service and I think he often feels very cloistered, and he is, underneath me and a community to take part in and blog/diary would be good for him.

Then a punishments page for everyone to make fun of those who need the humiliation after disappointing me; I will enjoy that. Also a page with applications for my professional services, real enslavement, and a few other things. Plus a few basic pages and two surprise pages that I won’t get into now. It should be good though, and whenever it is finished you are all expected to visit and such.

The Radio Show

Initially I had a “sidekick” who I dismissed after he annoyed me one too many times. Since then I have been sort of bored with the concept. I kept getting suggestions about having a “contest” but no one could tell me what on earth the contest was to be about. They just knew I should give away something (used panties came up a lot). While I don’t have any outright objections to the prize, I do need a topic for the contest, but we’ll see.

I really like the idea of an advice line sort of thing, but it will take quite a while to get enough people to make that viable. Of course, the topics would have to be on the topics of BFS and D/s. It will definitely be a call-in though. And maybe I’ll quiz a few callers who claim to be acolytes and see if they know their stuff, and give prizes if they do.

The Direct Line

Take the idea of “phone sex” take out the “sex,” and add “worship,” throw in some BDSM and a heavy dose of BFS and there you have it. Actually, the phone line will serve a variety of purposes. The first will be yet another way to tribute that is simple and effective, the second is for slaves and subs who want to speak to me directly (for a fee), and the third will be for those who want a dose of kink, by listening to real sessions, either existing ones or something they are interested in. It will be voyeuristic as I will not be speaking to them (though I will be on the phone) but they can put themselves in the position of my slave or whatever sub I am training. These sessions will likely be video recorded and available through the clips for sale area for after-phone pleasure.

The session work will be arranged in advance and paid for (through an existing service and site) before the actual sessions. The same is true for tributes. For subs who just want to talk, however, they will be able to almost 24/7 but at varying charges depending upon the time of day. This will be a per-minute fee and they will know what it costs prior to actually beginning the call, though a price schedule will also be scheduled somewhere. I will also be able to give people free minutes as I see fit and charge whatever I want per sub, which will be great for punishments.

This is separate from the call-in number for the radio show, as the radio show uses regular telephones with no fees, except any toll charges for those outside of the New York (I think, I have to recheck) calling area. Call from your cell.

The Book

I really want to write about something, I just don’t know what. I want to do some essays, D/s “self help,” and even fiction perhaps. It may not come to fruition, but I will simply self-publish if I do. Of course, anything I do will be made available on the website.

And a Few Other Things

I have a few ideas I am developing with others and a couple I am looking into on my own. We shall see what happens, but it’s good and you’ll like it!

That’s it!

It’s a lot, and most of it is profit-based. Though the website will be free, of course, it will hopefully encourage people to buy something from either tier. The radio show is free as well, but it has a tiny bit of profit potential through ad space. Everything else I discussed will cost you. The blog will always be free, however, as will the yahoo group (when it is re-launched).

Of course, we’ll see how much I commit to anyway. The great thing about this blog is that it’s something I can do at my leisure. I hate that the radio show locks me in at a certain time. It could all be wishful thinking as I am a spoiled, impatient Domme, but we shall see.

**Temporary!**

I have been split several ways for the last couple of months and noticed that I have been a bit stressed at the pressure I put on myself to get everything done. I've been trying to consider what can be trimmed for a couple of weeks now and I've decided to suspend the yahoo group for a month or two.

The idea of the group, and membership, hangs like a carrot over some of the subs I interview. But in truth, the number of members has fluctuated greatly and since it requires one-on-one time, plus planning time, and moderation time for me, it is just too time consuming at the moment. I am actually going to tweak it more in the next month and make it more...purposeful in the process.

On the up side, I have been working on the site more and I have a layout that I actually like. I am going to put up a bare-bones version this week and (hopefully) I will spend some of the time I'd spent on the group on the website, as that will be a static item crossed off the "to do" list and when it is complete I will have less on my mind.

I am preparing to relocate and the snow did a great job of initially stopping my progress and some sense of inertia did the rest. I started to feel homesick even before I left, actually, which was an unexpected feeling. Yet, it's an overdue move and a necessary one, and one that will take some time (I am moving to another state). I will still be here at least weekly, however, as it has become a way to de-stress for me. I continue to receive positive feedback and I do appreciate it.

It is rainy today, which is matching my "blah" and somewhat sad mood. It is the perfect day to listen to Nina's version of "Here Comes the Sun" while awaiting its return. The clouds do part, you know.

And you are? (pt 1)

What do you really think about Black people? I mean really, when you think of "Black Woman" or "Black man," what pops up in your head? What about "African-American" Woman or man? Indian? Asian? white? caucasian? How similar is your mental image for "Hawaiian" and "Pacific Islander"?

We all have our own connotations of whatever labels we use. We look at the world through glasses that are colored by our experience and our points of view. We take those things and turn them inward, and we shape ourselves accordingly.

This can be easily validated in the world of D/s. The difference between “sub” and “slave” is telling. The difference between “alpha slave” and “switch” can be insignificant or huge, depending on who’s using the terms. And the same, of course, is true for Dommes.

This past week I’ve pondered that concept a lot. There was a “slave,” for example, whose profile said “if you call yourself a Goddess or a Princess, do not message me.” I thought about what he meant a bit, and though I wasn’t offended and actually agree that “Princess” is a strange title for a Domme, I did find it to be a totally un-slavelike thing to say.

The second scenario was a “sub” who wants to be fully transformed into a slave.. I often tell new potentials to create email addresses, specifically to use in our correspondence. This particular sub chose an address that began with two words in two languages that mean king and ended it with a rather generic “yours” or something. I found it absurd. Of course, his response to questioning was equally absurd. Apparently he believed that he should express that though he was quite privileged he would be mine. And he didn’t use “slave” because he didn’t want to be presumptuous, as he was whatever I deemed, after all. I allowed him another chance and he failed again and that was that.

Now, as it relates to the titles Dommes use, I feel similarly to how I feel about the use of sub and slave. A Domme is the lot of us, but I consider a “Goddess” to be self-actualized much in the same way that I consider a “slave” to be. To me, a Mistress is simply an owner of slaves and a “Queen” is right before Goddess, in the sense of growing towards something. A “Princess” to me reads as a switch or a female alpha slave as her title suggests that someone is ahead of her

But that is my opinion based on my own life and experience, and they have certainly shaped my world. I did not call myself a Goddess or a Queen or even a Domme the first times. But I knew that the transition from Domme, to Queen, to Goddess would be work. For years between teenaged to mid-twenties I stayed at “Queen.” There were certain things that I was afraid of accepting or doing that were inescapable in order to earn the title Goddess.

I smoked cigarettes for years, entirely addicted, and I hated that as it showed I lacked the discipline to quit. And how could I teach anyone else discipline on such a deep level if I had not mastered it myself? I had trepidations at the idea of “coming out of the closet” to everyone I knew, which I didn’t feel I had to do as a Queen. I wasn’t sure even if I could say “forever” and mean it to a slave, and that was obviously important. I thought, maybe I would turn 40 and decide I wanted a husband and kids…then what? And I had never played a submissive role in a relationship. Ever.

As a “Queen” I could have contracts and I could always rip them up before the date I’d set, myself. As a Queen I could have limits. As a Queen I could always change my mind.

At some point I decided to test out a “vanilla” life. I got rid of all my kink and decided to “fall in love” with my best male friend, a submissive guy but not a “submissive,” who’d always been in love with me, moved in and settled down. And I worked HARD at being submissive. Poor darling, I worried him to death. I hadn’t thought about the fact that he was originally drawn to me because I was dominant. He didn’t know how to react to the power I pushed on him.

It was over in six months. It actually ended with a fist fight between the two of us, in which I threw the first and last punches. But those six months taught me so much that to this day, years later, I appreciate every day of that experience. I could relate to subs in a way I had never been able to as I had been there before. I could see, also, how much responsibility it took to be a Domme from the perspective of the one who depended upon the dominance of another. And I appreciated who I am and who subs are more than ever.

It seems like almost everything was easy after that. I wish I could say that quitting smoking was something that took a lot of discipline and patience but in reality it didn’t. One day I just knew I didn’t need them anymore and put the one I was smoking out. It was the same attitude I used when met with a variety of issues that had once been challenges, because I understood that I had no choice in being a Domme or a “regular” woman and there was no going back. When subs speak of the need, I can relate.

I expect more from myself than ever. And yes, I get frustrated with myself when I am angered by something or someone that I should be beyond. I take myself to task if I worry about what someone thinks of me, or compare myself to other women, or consider bending my principles.

Of all the things I learned over those six months, I suppose I am happiest that I made peace with the “nice” and maternal version of myself. For a while I was unsure of how that fit in the otherwise dominant woman. I felt almost ashamed of being sensitive to the fact that, yes, I was attracted to seeing a crawling, pained man coming towards me in absolute bliss because it made me want to stroke and torture him. I thought for a while that “We” were supposed to kick instead of stretch and cut instead of scratch deeply and leisurely. Popping a nipple into the mouth of a sub while hurting him was something I was bothered by, even though I loved it.

Being a Goddess meant no more “Us” and instead simply me. I have no peers in the sense that I live the life I gave something up for and it is mine alone. Whatever other Dommes do, whatever the subs who are not under me like, whatever the “community” uses to define the D and the s have nothing at all to do with who I am and what I like. I earned my title the hard way and I don’t intend to be anything different or anything less…even when it’s hard.

And you are?

(Part 1 is dedicated to a sissy who will one day be a slave [take care] and a bitch who was once a pig and is being born today, on its birthday [welcome])

The Basics.

There are many practices I believe are extremely important for the owned sub in order to grow and develop its potential. In order to paint with a broad brush I will outline some of them here:

1. Chastity

2. Cuckolding

3. Bisexuality

4. Body modification (to varying degrees)

5. Objectification

6. Caning/whipping

7. Torture/humiliation

8. CBT

9. Bondage

10. Ritual

These ten basics represent some of the foundations of a slave. Some of them, like numbers seven and eight, may appear to be very similar (as CBT is a form of torture) and others may seem to be specifics of larger listed themes (some would say cuckolding and forced bi are kinds of humiliation, for example), while some practices that some would consider “musts” are missing (cross-dressing or forced feminization) and some that I consider musts aren’t to others (rituals, for example). This should let you know that it is all relative.

If I had to pick five from the list that are 100% musts they would be numbers 1-3, 6, and 10. But it is very, very hard for me to pick just five. Potentials always want to know what is in store for them and this list is a good start. Of course there are other things a slave must learn to do that depend upon their use, like body worship, massage, anal training, etc (all of which I am wholeheartedly a proponent of), but that use really should come after an arduous training program that includes the practices listed.

And initial training programs are totally necessary. It takes time and focus to break a sub and “reprogram” it to be what it aspires to. Any good training program uses the above thoughtfully and with dedication, even if the sub is a lifetime slave with decades of experience. It simply has to be taught how to exist under its new conditions and for its new owners. Dommes who don’t methodically train their slaves really do them a disservice and sadly disregard the nature of the relationship and both parties: slaves WANT to submit and NEED proper training, just as Dommes need to know what they’re doing and what works.

Of course, my own training program is personal and wouldn’t necessarily be helpful for anyone other than me. That part of the discussion will happen at the group, for the “hardcore” followers and not the casual readers, as I don’t think it’s really good for un-owned slaves to believe they know what to expect from their training or use based on something that someone else does. It is up to the slave’s Domme and the sub must place its trust in her hands.

The list will be discussed one by one in upcoming posts, though in no particular order and not necessarily on a weekly basis as I have other topics to discuss. One of them, chastity, has already been covered. Some of the more taboo topics will be covered at the yahoo group as they are not for everyone. Indeed, the discussions on all topics will be discussed in a much more personal way, and I expect members to take part. For the casual reader, I assure you there will be more than enough information here.

It isn't supposed to be fun...(?)

Somewhere in my last post I typed the phrase "it isn't supposed to be fun" (or something like that) and I had a sub ask me today, "well if it's not supposed to be fun, what is the point of it all?"

Tonight I was working on something else entirely and that question popped up in my head again. At the time I simply responded "that depends upon the person, I suppose," which led other places, because it was the kind of question that takes so much to respond to any satisfying degree. And for some, it is supposed to be fun, but I have absolutely no desire to spend any time with those sorts.

In the first post on this blog I spoke of the difference between pro-Dommes and lifestyle Dommes. Paying submissives are paying for a fantasy and paying for "fun." Those types can have a session tailor-made for their own kinks or fetishes and after a good spanking or whatever it is they want - even if they want a Domme to go to work on them however she sees fit - they can go home satisfied while the Domme might have satisfied her own sadistic urges but she may have gotten nothing out of it at all except money. [Some submissives love to call pro-Dommes whores for that reason, which of course is flawed logic as what I described is "work" at its core. It would be the same to say a masseuse or barber was a whore...but I digress.] But that is the trade-off for paying subs and pro Dommes. Like being fed a cracker when one is starving, it will do for the moment but it's not really satisfying.

For lifestyle subs, particularly slaves, the dynamic is totally different. The lifestyle slave is drawn to and fed by a deep, lasting submission that is not fun but necessary. The biggest (perhaps only) punishment for this type is to not be able to serve someone in that manner. The true slave does not look for fun but knows that there is beauty in sacrifice, hard work, and dedication. Even when such a slave is unowned, the desire is still strong and palpable for them and they do things, even small things, to try and serve when needed.

And of course, this type is more attractive than anyone else to its counterpart, the lifestyle Domme. I talk a lot about "types" of slaves and submissives, because the reality is there are many and they are compatible with their dominant counterpart (like the person who loves to give physical pain is a good match for those who love to receive it), but the theoretical slave - and best slave - is clay waiting to be molded into whatever its Domme desires. For me, the temptation is there to take a pain slut and turn it into something else entirely just to teach it that its desires are not its own, but the reality is there are many theoretical slaves who in practice have limits that are make-or-break and those are often the ones who want it to be "fun;" however they define it.

I cannot verify this and I have no idea if it is true or not, but in conversation a sub once said that Black Dommes are more "spiritual" about the D/s dynamic and much less sexual than other Dommes, particularly white ones. This sub was upset about this because he was physically attracted to Black Dommes but didn't like how they downplayed the sexual side of D/s. As I laughed, another sub said that his attraction to Black Dommes was based on the fact that he was more ritual-based and believed in the deeper parts of the D/s dynamic and found that he complemented that ideology. This sub wanted more than just a slap, tickle, or fuck, he said. This sub wanted something he could drown in emotionally. So perhaps that is a notable difference about "types" as well.

I will not argue, obviously, that even my theoretical "perfect" slave has a selfish reason at the base for why they want to be enslaved. I do not believe in altruism, particularly in submissives. But, fun is fleeting and easy while things that take lifetimes to develop and dedicate to have moments of pure bliss but are not roundly fun. For a pianist the concert is probably great fun but the lifetime of learning to play the damned thing and get to that level then maintain it is arduous work that is full of challenges. But the pianist plays because she must, not because she likes it - even if sometimes she does.