Okay, so I've been busy. Too busy, really, but life is like that. I realized how long it's been since I've bothered to sign in when I actually---and totally---forgot my password here. But it's been reset and I'm here. So, you're welcome (wink).
I don't have much to discuss today. So much of life is adjustment, and it's not really my strong suit. I can gripe on and on about how much my day-to-day life is not what I want it to be, but it's all really my responsibility and my fault when things are in disarray. This is an obvious part of adulthood but it's really major with a Domme.
A couple of days ago I asked my slave what he could change about our relationship. It wasn't a loaded question, but I was very curious. I had to laugh at his answer because he wanted to serve more. And I looked at the past few months and really thought about how little I have made him do in terms of personal service. Of course he does the basic things that are necessities, but I haven't had him serve in all of the lovely and personal ways in which I trained him to serve and brought us both satisfaction. And that is a fault of mine.
In truth, the move and the family gatherings the winter season is known for took tolls on me. All of the things necessary to relocate someone are time-consuming, soul-draining exercises. And now, when things have calmed down a bit, looking in the mirror is hard. I've gained weight! My skin looks dry! My nails aren't done! And I remember that I forgot to look after me.
Isn't that kind of ironic? It made me think that being a caregiver is hard, no matter what your title is. And, yes, a Domme does give care, though not perhaps in the most blatant ways. Training a slave is the easy part, but creating a new environment, options, and a life for a slave is hard, hard work.
But now I am attempting to get back to me. And by "me" I really mean back to my own goals and life outside of ensuring that he has the tools necessary to do what he needs to. It's time to trust my own work in getting him prepared and him to be able to do what he needs to when he's not in my presence and work on what makes me happy now, especially as it relates to my overall health. That, in essence, is my "resolution" for the year. What is yours?
Oh, I made a Twitter account for the times when I have something to say and I don't feel like typing as much as I did today. I'm Goddess Emme there if you'd like to "follow" me, and I will one day think about the website again. I may clear the lines on Niteflirt but my pro work is suspended until I look in the mirror and wink at myself, lol.
Be good.
