I thought my first few posts should discuss who I am, and I guess lifestyle vs. professional is as good a place to start as any. I am both in that I am/have been a professional Domme but being a Domme is totally who I am as well. The professional Emme is me if I were a superhero, almost like a caricature of who I am. I do not wear leather or vinyl and seven inch heels all day in my personal life (though I LOVE heels, particularly high-heeled boots) and I am not cracking a whip at all times either. And yet I am naturally dominant and naturally attracted to submissive types. I rarely raise my voice, can be very quiet, and I have a plethora of interests and involvements outside of D/s or BDSM. At the same time, sexual decadence and kink are "home" for me.
I have no "vanilla" life as all of things are interspersed into my life and I am content with every facet of who I am. In a grocery store I am normal because I am a normal person. Does my family know about my lifestyle? Yes, though different people know different things and the extent of their knowledge reflects how close we are. I don't write a monthly newsletter to extended family to let them know about all of my D/s activities or any other activities, for that matter, but my sister, for example, knows most of my lifestyle, whereas my parents know major themes but not details.
I have seen major debates about whether a lifestyle Domme can and/or should be a pro Domme as well. For me, the two are not mutually exclusive and one can easily see which pro Dommes aren't actually lifestylers. I think being a professional Domme as a lifestyle Domme is similar to doing anything professionally that your life is filled with and what you are or what comes naturally to you personally. If a mother with several children who loved motherhood, children, etc was also a daycare provider or teacher there would be a list of negatives and positives about her profession. Sure she would likely be great at it but she could potentially experience "burn out" quicker than her coworkers too. Does her work make her less of a mother or vice versa? I don't think so.
Some submissive types want a Domme with all of the tools of the trade to be ready and willing to schedule sessions whenever the submissive has time, do what the submissive gets off on, and not earn a dime for her trouble. Yeah right. That sort of thing is a service and services are rarely free. There are certainly some subs who desire nothing more than to come clean, provide service, receive instruction/reward, and go on their way. Those subs are the cornerstone of the community in many ways and they understand the give-and-take and really shouldn't be charged, in my opinion, as an equal exchange occurs. But others want to be tortured, whipped, and humiliated for three hours (or whatever time frame) and that, my dears, is work. Now if that submissive is collared or owned and that is part of his/her training or what have you, that is fine, but subs who want session work based on their own desires or fetishes are fetishists and clients, not lifestylers.
This was a drag to write but it's best to get the unsavory things out of the way early. Up next is one of my favorite topics... BFS!
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